Our Mishna on Amud Aleph mandates that an animal involved in a sexual act with a human be destroyed. While an animal cannot truly sin and should not be punished, its destruction serves to erase any lingering disgrace associated with the act. This is referred to in the Gemara as “kalon,” which signifies shame.
In Gemara Kiddushin (19a), we find a discussion about the exemption of minors from capital punishment, even in cases of adultery. Tosafos asks why there should even be a debate on this matter, since minors are generally exempt from punishment. In Arakhin (3a, "Limutei"), Tosafos suggests that, just as the animal is executed to remove any vestige of disgrace despite not being responsible for the sin (as seen in Sanhedrin 55b), one might consider the same treatment for a minor.
Though this comparison may seem shocking at first, it actually teaches us a profound lesson about human dignity. The effort to eliminate all reminders of a disgraceful sexual act is so strong that just as an animal involved in sexual perversion is put to death, there may be a temptation to apply similar consequences to a minor.
This concept calls to mind the complex and painful situations often faced by families of sexual abuse survivors. When the perpetrator is a close relative, there can be a strong desire to mend relationships. There are indeed cases where young or impulsive perpetrators, or those with other genuine mitigating circumstances, may demonstrate remorse and reform, leading the victim to feel it is possible to forgive. This can create a sense of comfort and even allow for family reunions, weddings, and shared Yamim Tovim.
However, utmost sensitivity must be exercised in respecting the victim’s boundaries. Some survivors may never feel comfortable being around the perpetrator, even if the perpetrator has taken steps to make amends. Family members may exert pressure or manipulate the victim into "moving on," or even, tragically, force the victim to leave their own home while the perpetrator remains. This is unjust and cruel, and it violates a key Torah ethic, which acknowledges the profound impact that reminders of sexual transgressions can have on the survivor’s healing process.
While it is true that a minor offender may not fully understand the gravity of their actions due to their age, this does not absolve the family or the offender from showing genuine empathy and respect toward the victim. The trauma of sexual abuse cannot be dismissed, and the path to healing often requires an ongoing commitment to sensitivity, understanding, and dignity for all involved.
Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation 
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Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R, DHL is a psychotherapist who works with high conflict couples and families as well male sexual health. He can be reached via email at simchafeuerman@gmail.com