Our Gemara discusses the sudden and mysterious death of the sons of Aharon, who were consumed by a heavenly fire. This fire is described as burning their souls but leaving their bodies untouched.
The verse (Vayikra 10:1) attributes this calamity to the sons of Aharon bringing a “strange fire” before Hashem.
Our Gemara explains that their true sin was their secret desire—or, according to some, even a verbal expression—of wishing to take the place of Moshe and Aharon: “When will these two old men die so that you and I can lead the generation?”
Other midrashim (see Rashi, Vayikra 10:2) describe their sins as impudence, teaching Torah in front of their master, or entering the Mishkan while intoxicated.
The Be’er Mayim Chaim (Vayikra 16:1) offers a deeper interpretation, explaining that these apparent sins are merely symbolic of a more subtle problem. The strange fire is actually an out-of-control religious exuberance—an “overdose” on God. Just as a small fire naturally gravitates toward a larger fire and is swallowed up by it, so too does a part of our soul yearn to connect with Hashem in such an absolute way that it could literally burn us out. The sons of Aharon were too eager to ascend the spiritual ladder, but they hadn’t yet developed the emotional maturity and resources to stay grounded. Their unchecked ambition overwhelmed them, leading to their spiritual death.
This can be seen as a form of drunkenness, jealousy of Moshe and Aharon, and impudence—all stemming from spiritual excess without boundaries.
As I often remark, the spiritual, physical, and emotional patterns of life are the same, since they are all designed by the same Creator. The image of the smaller flame being drawn to the larger flame reflects the same principle of spiritual excess. It’s crucial to keep our yearnings grounded within the boundaries of common sense, self-protection, and concern for others.
This concept can also explain why three out of the four sages who attempted to enter the Pardes did not emerge whole (Chagigah 14b). The Pardes (literally, "orchard" or "paradise") refers to a certain spiritual plane—a metaphor for the dangerous allure of unchecked spiritual ascension.
This pattern also emerges in emotional relationships, particularly when someone engages in what we now call “love-bombing”—intense displays of affection, romance, or charisma. While this may be sincere, it can also be a red flag for poor boundaries and imbalanced self-regulation.
Even during recovery from addiction or trauma, a person might become overwhelmed by a new realization of feelings and needs, going overboard in self-care while blaming and criticizing family members. That is not to say that these realizations are not important, and indeed often represent appropriate re-balancing of the relationship.
The lesson here is that even when we experience genuine and significant spiritual or emotional realizations, or a newfound love, we must be careful to maintain groundedness and perspective. When overwhelmed, whether by spiritual fervor or emotional intensity, the key is to stay balanced and not lose sight of what is healthy and self-protective.
Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation 
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Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R, DHL is a psychotherapist who works with high conflict couples and families as well male sexual health. He can be reached via email at simchafeuerman@gmail.com