tag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/articlesLatest articles from Yated Ne'eman Q&AYated Ne'eman Q&A2024-03-14T13:48:24ZWeekly Q&A As Published In Yated Ne'emantag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/medication-or-therapy.html2024-03-14T13:48:24Z2024-03-14T13:48:24ZMedication or TherapyDear Therapist:
I have a specific fear that I have a hard time with but it isn't something that I really have to face very frequently. Let's say it's flying. It's not something I do very often but when I need to it's really hard. I was prescribed a medication I can take from my doctor and I can use it before flying and I feel ok. Is this a good enough way to deal with it or would it be better to invest in therapy to get rid of the fear? Would the …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/what-me-intellectualize-well-come-to-think-of-it.html2024-03-14T13:46:39Z2024-03-14T13:46:39ZWhat, Me Intellectualize? Well, Come to Think of it...Dear Therapist:
I have been wondering about a friend who is very smart but is still struggles with motivation. He has been confiding in me recently but I think that he is very focused on philosophical reasons for his unhappiness, like the purpose of life, but doesn't pay enough attention to his emotions. It's hard to tell really but I am wondering if you could give me some pointers in how to steer him for the proper help. Thanks.
Response: …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/therapy-very-funny.html2024-03-14T13:41:52Z2024-03-14T13:41:52ZTherapy? Very Funny!Dear Therapist:
Thank you so much for your weekly column. I enjoy hearing your different perspectives. I was wondering if lekavod Purim you could share your thoughts on humor and mental health. Does a good sense of humor help people in dealing with difficulties? How does this work? Is this something that can be developed or do you either have it or not? Additionally, I think for most of us we imagine therapy as a serious somber thing, i …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/decisionsdecisionsdecisions.html2024-03-07T15:28:53Z2024-03-07T15:28:53ZDecisions...Decisions...Decisions?Dear Therapist:
My son has always had a hard time making decisions. Even when it comes to making small choices, like what to order in a restaurant, it's a whole esek. He really never had to make too many serious choices in his life, he went to the same yeshiva straight through and to Eretz Yisroel together with his friends. Same with camp, there wasn't much choice. I am worried as he gets ready for shidduchim that he will have a rough …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/should-i-choose-my-husband-or-my-parents-.html2024-03-07T15:23:08Z2024-03-07T15:23:08ZShould I Choose My Husband or My Parents? Dear Therapist:
My husband has a very difficult time getting along with my parents. I am not sure what the source of this is but it's been like that for a while. My husband is a great father and wonderful husband and man, and my parents are wonderful too. We all have our quirks and somehow my husband and parents just grate on each other the wrong way. We have somehow managed this over the first 5 years of our marriage but it seems to be get …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/therapy-never-again.html2024-02-22T09:26:59Z2024-02-22T09:26:59ZTherapy? Never Again!Dear Therapist:
I have a friend who has a very serious problem with her shalom bayis. Her husband started going to therapy to try to help the marriage. She has a very long list of complaints against her husband, but she admits that she also has faults and she's not innocent. When I asked her why she doesn't go to therapy she told me she can't even think of it. She had gone for a lot of therapy in her late teens/early twenties …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/teletherapy-or-in-person-therapy.html2024-02-22T09:24:13Z2024-02-22T09:24:13ZTeletherapy or In-Person TherapyDear Therapist:
What advantages and disadvantages come with receiving therapy in person versus using an online platform? If a therapist offers both options, which should I choose? I would assume that in person would be more effective but sometimes maybe it would be easier to share through a screen? Aside from convenience, are there any other factors that I should be taking into consideration when choosing a venue for psychotherapy?
Respons …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/helping-someone-who-doesnt-want-help.html2024-02-13T15:02:22Z2024-02-13T15:02:22ZHelping Someone Who Doesn't Want HelpDear Therapist:
I have a brother who is very anxious but comes across as very cool and like he has it all together. When I finally convinced him to go for therapy, the therapist questioned whether he really needed therapy and took an approach of “it doesn’t seem to be causing too much dysfunction in your life.” Those who know him know about the constant tension that he lives with and how much he is suffering. Yes, he is su …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/anxiety-stigma-and-therapy-when-i-dont-need-it.html2024-02-13T15:00:40Z2024-02-13T15:00:40ZAnxiety, Stigma, and Therapy When I Don't Need ItDear Therapist:
I'm a 21-year-old girl currently in shidduchim. I occasionally face mild anxiety and believe that seeking therapy could be beneficial for addressing and managing it, or gaining helpful tips. Thankfully, I am currently managing well, but I sense that further improvement is possible through therapeutic work. However, during this phase of life, there is some societal resistance to the idea of seeking therapy—it's not widel …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/how-to-lose-friends-and-un-influence-people.html2024-02-13T14:58:06Z2024-02-13T14:58:06ZHow To Lose Friends and Un-Influence PeopleDear Therapist:
I am 17 years old and in 12th grade, I have a friend that I have known since 2nd or 3rd grade and we're very close. But overtime I realized that I don't enjoy her presence as much and she is extremely clingy. She always sees everything negatively and overthinks everything, which makes it difficult to talk and confide in her. She constantly asks to sleepover and come hangout. Luckily, I have a job that ends late at n …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/is-it-sympathy-empathy-or-secondary-trauma.html2024-02-13T14:53:11Z2024-02-13T14:53:11ZIs It Sympathy, Empathy, Or Secondary Trauma?Dear Therapist:
As a teacher, I've noticed that some of my high school students seem to be experiencing the weight of their friends' struggles.
There is a student in my tenth-grade class who is going through a very hard time. Her family situation at home isn't easy and she is showing signs of unhealthy eating habits. We are aware that this student is struggling, and we are working on finding ways to help her. Recently, I noticed that her best fri …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/support-group-or-therapy.html2024-02-13T14:50:52Z2024-02-13T14:50:52ZSupport Group Or TherapyDear Therapist:
Thank you so much for your weekly insights. I am looking for some help due to a loss in my family and I was offered a support group by a local organization. I am also considering a private therapist. Can you please explain the differences and benefits of one over the other? Do you have an opinion as to which is better in this situation?
Response:
I’m sorry that you lost someone close to you. Of course, it’ …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/how-involved-should-i-be-in-my-sons-marriage.html2024-02-13T14:48:46Z2024-02-13T14:48:46ZHow Involved Should I Be in My Son's Marriage?Dear Therapist:
My son recently got married and I am a bit concerned about how he is treating his wife. It's nothing major but I see his immaturity and lack of awareness about living and thinking about someone else. Most people advise me to stay out of it and let them grow up together. I'm not so sure about that. I am worried about the damage that could be done to their relationship if I just let it go. I would appreciate hearing your opinions as …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/are-my-headaches-real.html2024-02-13T14:46:02Z2024-02-13T14:46:02ZAre My Headaches "Real?"Dear Therapist:
I have suffered from migraine headaches for a few years. I have tried a bunch of different types of treatments and have seen all sorts of doctors. Somethings have helped a little, some not at all, and some for a short time but it didn't last. I am wondering if there is some possible help to be had from psychology in this area? I have definitely heard of psychology for back pain, can it work for headaches also?
Respons …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/academia-and-woke-ideology.html2023-12-25T14:33:31Z2023-12-25T14:34:34ZAcademia and Woke IdeologyDear Therapist:
The world of academia has recently come under a lot of scrutiny for its antisemitism. To those paying attention the so-called intellectuals in college campuses have become more and more antithetical to Torah values, but even more so to common sense! These ideas seem more prevalent in the social work and psychology fields. I can only imagine that these newfangled ideas seep into how mental health disorders are evaluated and treated …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/trauma-and-young-children.html2023-12-25T14:31:51Z2023-12-25T14:31:51ZTrauma and Young ChildrenDear Therapist:
Hi, my two-year-old child was recently exposed to something very traumatic. At least it was something that would be very traumatic for an adult. I am uncomfortable going into all the details but it involved a serious injury to someone right in from of her, with a large medical response etc. I am wondering if a child that young can be "traumatized" and what would be the signs in a child so young that they needed help? What kind of …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/therapy-for-kids-at-risk.html2023-12-25T14:29:10Z2023-12-25T14:29:10ZTherapy for Kids at RiskDear Therapist:
Thank you for your weekly column. I am involved in a drop-in program that helps "kids at risk." I am wondering on your opinion on sending younger teenagers with behavior issues to therapy. We have sent them in the past - with limited results. I'm not sure if most of them are really ready for any type of serious therapy. Wouldn't our time and energy be best invested in getting them a mentor and offering other types of support? Some …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/dating-someone-with-a-mental-health-diagnosis.html2023-12-04T13:07:53Z2023-12-04T13:07:53ZDating Someone with a Mental Health DiagnosisDear Therapist:
My daughter was recently redt a shidduch to someone who has ADHD. I initially thought that since that is something that pertains mostly to school work etc. that it would not be so relevant to marriage. You hear stories about people with ADHD being really successful. However, people are telling me that this can actually be the source of serious marital problems if it is at a serious level and has not properly been address …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/can-my-coach-be-my-therapist.html2023-12-04T12:58:45Z2023-12-04T12:58:45ZCan My Coach Be My Therapist?Dear Therapist:
Thank you for taking the time to answer our questions in this weekly column. I have an issue I hope you can provide me guidance with. I have been working with a coach for a long time to help me with my personal growth and self-confidence issues. This has helped me become a better person and inspired me to open my own business which was quite successful. However, I recently lost my mother to a sudden illness and am having a hard ti …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/engagement-anxiety.html2023-11-22T16:02:50Z2023-11-22T16:03:50ZEngagement AnxietyDear Therapist:
My son is engaged and has become very panicky about if he made the right decision. Initially we figured it was nerves but it has persisted. He can't really point out any major concerns about the girl but he also is very worried about getting married. More like he feels something is "missing." He acknowledges that he is very anxious but says that he doesn't know if that's just fear or his intuition telling him there is something wr …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/medication-and-dating-revisited.html2023-11-22T16:00:44Z2023-11-22T16:00:44ZMedication and Dating RevisitedDear Therapist:
As a teenager our son saw a therapist for a while due to some burnout/depression. Baruch Hashem with some adjustments to his yeshiva life and the help he received he is doing amazing and has been for a while. He is still on a low dose of medication which has worked well for him. When he tried going off, he relapsed and our consensus is that it's best for him to stay on it for now. Now that he is starting shidduchim he is very nerv …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/what-is-the-processing-process.html2023-11-22T15:56:52Z2023-11-22T15:56:52ZWhat is the Processing Process?Dear Therapist:
I have a pretty basic question about therapy, and I am hoping you can answer it for me. I went through something difficult recently and a few people have told me I should go to therapy so that I could “process” it. I have heard that word from a couple of people and no one has really been able to tell me what exactly that means. What does it mean to “process” something? To talk about it? I have been talking …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/whats-the-right-amount-of-anxiety.html2023-11-06T16:07:50Z2023-11-06T16:07:50ZWhat's the Right Amount of Anxiety?Dear Therapist:
I have always considered myself a healthy person and have never been diagnosed with any kind of mental health issue. Recently, due to the current events in Eretz Yisroel, I have this feeling of uneasiness that follows me around all day. I can't say I'm anxious but I certainly don't feel like my regular self. I feel more "alert" when I am walking down the street, considering travel plans, or even dropping my kids off at school …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/enough-therapy-already.html2023-11-06T16:04:55Z2023-11-06T16:05:40ZEnough Therapy Already?Dear Therapist:
Thank you for this forum and for your time and advice. Our son's school recommended that our 7-year-old be evaluated for behavioral issues at the end of last school year and that he may benefit from some extra help during summer vacation. We had him evaluated privately and paid privately for the sessions that he is receiving and b”H have seen improvement in his overall behavior and his ability to follow instru …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/the-stonewalling-therapist.html2023-11-06T15:58:14Z2023-11-06T16:04:39ZThe Stonewalling TherapistDear Therapist:
When I asked my fifteen-year-old daughter’s therapist questions about what was being addressed in therapy and why we needed to continue, she was evasive, making it clear that it wasn’t my place to know and there was no reason for me to be involved. I was quite baffled and rattled. It just didn’t make sense to me at all that I was not being included as an important team member. But I put aside my troubled feelings …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/children-and-israeli-terror.html2023-10-12T10:44:11Z2023-10-12T10:44:11ZChildren and Israeli TerrorDear Therapist:
Could you please share advice on dealing with younger children who are struggling with the news from Eretz Yisroel. Of course, we are preventing them from seeing any images, but they have inevitably heard some of the horrible details, particularly about kidnapped children r'l. Any advice you can have to help them deal with this terrible situation more effectively would be helpful.
Response:
I think that I speak f …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/grief-and-dating.html2023-09-12T11:56:17Z2023-09-12T11:56:17ZGrief and DatingDear Therapist:
I am a teacher who has stepped in to offer support to a former student of mine who has recently lost her father. She is currently of shidduchim age and the family is anxious for her to begin dating. They feel that she should "move forward" and have been exerting significant pressure on her to begin. I was wondering if you can give me some guidelines as to when that would be considered healthy. I imagine it isn't just a time thing …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/keep-up-with-the-joneses.html2023-09-12T11:54:50Z2023-09-26T10:43:42ZKeep Up With the Joneses?Dear Therapist:
I live in a neighborhood/community where there is a big emphasis on money. It is a young neighborhood where people are just starting work, and some are making serious money and throwing it around. So there has recently become this pressure to “keep up with the Joneses.” I have a salaried job and al pi derech hateva I am not going to become a millionaire any time soon. This was always ok with me, and I didn&rs …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/father-son-relationship.html2023-09-12T11:51:42Z2023-09-12T11:51:42ZFather-Son RelationshipDear Therapist:
I am not much of a letter writing type of guy, but I will give it a shot. I have been hearing from my wife, and now from my son’s rebbe that I need to work more on developing a better relationship with my teenage son. It isn’t that we have a relationship, it’s that we just don’t seem to connect. I know I am not the most expressive person in the world and though that doesn’t seem to be a problem with m …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/personality-disorder.html2023-08-24T15:31:54Z2023-08-24T15:31:54ZPersonality Disorder?Dear Therapist:
I have a question that has been weighing on my mind for a while. I have a relative that is unfortunately unwell. I am not a professional but from what I've read on the subject I think that she has histrionic or borderline personality disorder. She is constantly needy and crying to everyone near her how she's afflicted with (fill in blank) and how she has the worst life. She craves attention and publicly ac …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/to-date-or-not-to-dateis-that-the-question.html2023-08-24T13:55:19Z2023-08-24T13:55:19ZTo Date or Not to Date...Is That the Question?Dear Therapist:
Our daughter, who is shidduchim age, recently approached us that she would like to see someone regarding her indecisiveness. This is something that she has struggled with over the years. It definitely seems like now would be a good time to address it. We are however, also concerned about her delaying shiddichum any longer, especially since we won't really be able to explain why we are holding off. I was h …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/is-anger-a-primary-emotion.html2023-08-14T11:12:15Z2023-08-14T11:14:02ZIs Anger a Primary Emotion?Dear Therapist:
Our teenage son often loses his temper. He can get really worked up over seemingly silly things. Not just at home but even with his friends it has becoming something of a joke about how he can "lose it." He isn't violent c"v or anything like that and is mostly a pleasant nice kid but he can really go from 0-60 quickly sometimes. How do you advise we deal with him when he gets like this? Do we make a zero-tolerance policy …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/my-sons-medication-obsession.html2023-08-14T11:10:08Z2023-08-14T11:10:08ZMy Son's Medication ObsessionDear Therapist:
My teenage son (18) had been struggling with anxious and obsessive thoughts and went to see a therapist based on the recommendation of our rov. He was also told by the rov that medication could be an option as well. He was very against taking medication, probably out of a concern for shidduchim, and decided to just try therapy. The issue is that since he knows that the option of medication is out there, he has …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/twice-weekly-sessions.html2023-08-14T11:07:11Z2023-08-14T11:07:11ZTwice Weekly SessionsDear Therapist:
While I pushed it off for a long time, I now realize that I benefit from speaking to a therapist. I saw someone when I was in yeshiva in E'Y and now that I am back, I am trying to find someone appropriate. There is a lot that has gone on, and is going on, in my life and I need to speak to someone at least twice a week. So far it is hard enough to find someone with one opening, forget about two. Also, one of the therapist …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/parental-alienation.html2023-08-14T11:03:47Z2023-08-14T11:03:47ZParental AlienationDear Therapist:
I appreciate your weekly insights and value the fact that there are therapists and mental health professionals who are true bnei Torah. I have heard rumblings about an issue and would like to give you an opportunity to clarify it for us. Can you please explain what is "parental alienation" which I understand to mean is when a therapist instructs a client to break off contact with a parent? Is this something that frum therapis …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/the-perfectionism-spectrum.html2023-08-14T11:00:54Z2023-08-14T11:00:54ZThe Perfectionism SpectrumDear Therapist:
I have been told for a while by others that I have "perfectionistic" tendencies. I am bh doing very well but I do have a significant amount of stress in my life. I struggle with the idea of "perfectionism" being a bad thing. Shouldn't we always be looking for growth, excellence, and to be the best we have to be? What is the difference between healthy and unhealthy perfectionism and how does one tell the difference?
  …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/why-isnt-my-son-productive.html2023-08-14T10:58:07Z2023-08-14T10:58:07ZWhy Isn't My Son Productive?Dear Therapist:
My son (19) hasn't been productive for a long time. He has been in therapy for two years and it hasn't really made much of a difference. He gave me permission to speak to his therapist who basically agreed that he hasn't made much progress and that the most important thing for him is to be productive but he just isn't moving forward. The therapist himself said he considered stopping with him but is hesitant to do so if my son does …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/psychedelics.html2023-06-29T13:19:50Z2023-06-29T13:19:50ZPsychedelicsDear Therapist:
I experienced a lot of serious trauma as a teenager. Now, years later I still suffer greatly from it. Someone recommended "ketamine assisted psychotherapy." I was wondering what your opinion of this is and if you would recommend it.
Response:
Hallucinogenics have recently become increasingly popular, both in general and in conjunction with therapy. Specifically, with regard to trauma therapy various drugs with hallucinogeni …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/why-my-kids-grades-are-deteriorating.html2023-06-29T13:17:29Z2023-06-29T13:17:29ZWhy My Kid's Grades Are DeterioratingDear Therapist:
I appreciate your weekly column and have learned a lot from it. I had a question regarding what type of evaluation you would recommend for a child who has shown a significant reduction in grades from one year to the next. This is for a child coming out of 3rd grade who has no major other history of issues. Someone suggested a speech therapist for a language eval, others are saying a neuropsych eval, and yet others are recomme …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/my--year-old-thinks-i-dont-understand-her.html2023-06-29T13:15:24Z2023-06-29T13:15:24ZMy 17-Year-Old Thinks I Don't Understand Her!Dear Therapist:
Our daughter (she is 17 years old and a bit moody) has recently begun complaining to us that we don't understand her and that we have no relationship with her. This seems to be a common teenage complaint but she is being very persistent that this is a problem. To be honest I can't say that she doesn't have something of a point, but I don't believe that the fault lies completely with us. We are seeking advice from a few sources but …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/medical-anxiety.html2023-06-29T13:12:30Z2023-06-29T13:12:30ZMedical AnxietyDear Therapist:
I have always been a bit of an anxious person, particularly when it comes to my health and the health of my family. For a while I was pretty obsessive and was constantly going to doctors "just to make sure" I was ok. Any little ache or pain I made an appointment and had it looked at. At some point in my life, I realized that I was making myself (and my doctors) crazy and I learned to control myself, essentially learning to ignore …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/fight-or-flight-and-compartmentalization.html2023-06-29T13:09:54Z2023-06-29T13:09:54ZFight-or-Flight and CompartmentalizationDear Therapist:
My family has gone through several major challenges over the past few years, including losing a close relative due to Covid as well as a series of other challenges. Now bh it seems that life has finally settled back to normal, but it feels hard for me to relax out of emergency mode because that's where I've been for so long. I feel like part of me is just waiting for the next challenge to arrive. How can I help myself get the …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/irresponsible-teenager-how-unusual.html2023-06-29T13:07:46Z2023-06-29T13:07:46ZIrresponsible Teenager; How Unusual!Dear Therapist:
I enjoy reading your column and value your insights. We are making a decision regarding whether to allow our 18-year-old son to be a counselor in camp this year. This is something he very much wants to do and there are aspects I think he will be good at it. However, he struggles a lot with responsibility throughout the year. He is notoriously unreliable, has trouble waking up in the morning, and you can't count on him for anything …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/perfectionism-good-or-bad.html2023-06-29T13:04:59Z2023-06-29T13:04:59ZPerfectionism: Good or Bad?Dear Therapist:
I have been told for a while by others that I have "perfectionistic" tendencies. I am bh doing very well but I do have a significant amount of stress in my life. I struggle with the idea of "perfectionism" being a bad thing. Shouldn't we always be looking for growth, excellence, and to be the best we have to be? What is the difference between healthy and unhealthy perfectionism and how does one tell the difference?
  …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/productivity-therapy.html2023-06-29T13:02:11Z2023-06-29T13:02:11ZProductivity TherapyDear Therapist:
My son (19) hasn't been productive for a long time. He has been in therapy for two years and it hasn't really made much of a difference. He gave me permission to speak to his therapist who basically agreed that he hasn't made much progress and that the most important thing for him is to be productive but he just isn't moving forward. The therapist himself said he considered stopping with him but is hesitant to do so if my son does …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/glass-half-empty-completely-empty.html2023-06-29T12:59:15Z2023-06-29T12:59:15ZGlass Half Empty? Completely Empty?Dear Therapist:
I feel like my life is like Murphy’s law. Whatever could go wrong has. I have trouble with parnassah, trouble with my health, and difficulty with my children. I have worked so hard on all these things but to no avail. At this point I would take just one of them being better. Things just seem really bleak, and they have been for a while. A therapist wouldn’t convince me that things are better than they are, and it …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/does-my-brother-really-have-aspergers.html2023-06-29T12:56:14Z2023-06-29T12:56:14ZDoes My Brother Really Have Asperger's?Dear Therapist:
Thank you so much for your informative column. I really enjoy it, especially as I am currently in school for social work. My younger brother was recently diagnosed with autism “spectrum” disorder. I think my parents always had a hard time with him and they seem relieved that they found a “name” for his issues. I am worried because I really don’t see that much that is wrong with him and I am concerned …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/is-my-daughter-in-law-spoiled.html2023-06-29T12:46:37Z2023-06-29T12:46:37ZIs My Daughter-in-Law Spoiled?Dear Therapist:
I am facing a dilemma and I am turning to you for advice. I am, baruch Hashem, a mother of many boys, most of whom are married. When I married off my sons, I bought their kallas basic standard gifts and jewelry. Most of my daughters-in-law were thrilled with the gifts I bought them. Some were happy with the gifts as they were and some went so far as to ask me if I could just leave …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/i-cant-confide-in-my-therapist.html2023-04-18T16:22:16Z2023-04-18T16:22:16ZI Can't Confide in My TherapistDear Therapist:
Thank you for your informative and interesting column. I've been in therapy for several months and still have a very hard time opening up to my therapist. I started seeing a therapist for anxiety and we've been working on other things as well, such as self-esteem. I did not have the support I needed in the past which contributes to my fear of judgment from her. This is an issue for me in general; not just in therapy. I don't find …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSWtag:nefeshisrael.com,2005:/MrYehudaLieberman/my-son-is-a-weakling.html2023-04-18T16:20:19Z2023-04-18T16:20:19ZMy Son is a Weakling!Dear Therapist:
I have a 12-year-old son who has always been a bit of the “weaker” sort. Always been very needy, very fragile, as well as academically challenged. He always seems to want more and more attention from mommy and daddy and spends at least 3-4 weeks a year home sick (really sick not faking it). It seems like it is just the personality that he was born with. As he gets older, I am becoming more and more concerned about his …Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW