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Count Your Sheep and Your Blessings Nedarim 36 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
November 30th, 2022

Our Gemara on Amud Beis raises an interesting question in regard to will and agency. We know that a person may act as an unappointed agent when doing a service that is a benefit, since we presume he would have agreed to appoint him. If so, what is the case in regard to taking Terumah (out of your own produce) to make another person’s “tevel” produce permitted as chulin? (In order to eat produce, Terumah must first be taken off f …
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Agent of Light Nedarim 35 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
November 29th, 2022

Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the status of Cohanim in relation to their service in the Beis Hamikdash.  Are they considered agents of God, or our agents whom we appoint to serve God in our stead?  This has numerous applications, including if a Cohen, whom you vowed to not have benefit from, can stil bring your sacrifices. If he works for you as your agent, then he is bringing you a benefit. If he is merely following God‘s com …
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Unburden the Beast Nedarim 34 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
November 28th, 2022

Our Gemara discusses a situation where one declares a loaf as Hekdesh (dedicated to the Beis Hamikdash). According to many commentaries, the scenario involves where he has not yet picked up the loaf but since it is within 4 cubits, he has a certain power over it. The idea that a person’s four cubits is their domain comes up in halakha in numerous incidences, and is a rabbinic enactment to allow for acquisition and reduce quarrels about owne …
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Benefits Claws Nedarim 33 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
November 27th, 2022

Our Gemara on amud aleph considers that certain actions are not concrete benefits, and even if one made a vow to not receive any pleasure from the other person, he still may receive this kind of benefit.  For example, the Gemara considers paying a debt as metaphorically chasing away a lion, that is a non-act. Technically you didn’t give the person anything, you just saved his sheep from the lions. So too, paying a person’s debt m …
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Psychological Legacies Nedarim 32 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
November 25th, 2022

Our Gemara on amud aleph discusses why Avraham was punished with the enslavement of his descendants in Egypt.  Three opinions are offered:
אָמַר רַבִּי אֲבָהוּ אָמַר רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר: מִפְּנֵי מָה נֶעֱנַשׁ אַבְרָהָם אָבִינוּ וְנִשְׁתַּעְבְּדוּ בָּנָיו לְמִצְרַיִם מָאתַיִם וְעֶשֶׂר שָׁנִים — מִפּ …
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Piety is More than Skin Deep Nedarim 31 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
November 25th, 2022

Our Mishna on Amud Beis discusses a scenario where a person makes a vow to not benefit from the uncircumcised. He is permitted to even benefit from Jews who were unable to circumcise themselves, and forbidden even to gentiles who did circumcise.  Furthermore, the opposite holds true as well.  If one makes an oath to refuse benefit from those who are circumcised, he is forbidden to all Jews, even those who are uncircumcised, and permitte …
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Past Perfect Nedarim 30 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
November 24th, 2022

What can a prophet predict, and how does that affect free-choice? Our Gemara on Amud Beis references a verse (I Melachim 13:2): הִנֵּה־בֵ֞ן נוֹלָ֤ד לְבֵית־דָּוִד֙ יֹאשִׁיָּ֣הֽוּ שְׁמ֔וֹ וְזָבַ֣ח עָלֶ֗יךָ אֶת־כֹּהֲנֵ֤י הַבָּמוֹת֙ הַמַּקְטִרִ֣ים עָלֶ֔יךָ וְעַצְמ֥וֹת אָדָ֖ם יִשְׂרְפ֥וּ עָלֶֽיךָ׃ A son …
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No Such Thing as Half-Way Married Nedarim 29 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
November 23rd, 2022

There is a saying that there is no such thing as halfway pregnant.  From the Halakhic perspective, there is no such thing as halfway married.  Our Gemara on amud aleph tells us: אִילּוּ אָמַר לְאִשָּׁה ״הַיּוֹם אַתְּ אִשְׁתִּי וּלְמָחָר אִי אַתְּ אִשְׁתִּי״, מִי נָפְקָא בְּלָא גֵּט?! And what would happen if one said to a woman while performing bet …
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Lying King Nedarim 28 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
November 22nd, 2022

Continuing our discussion regarding oaths under duress, our gemara on amud aleph questions why dodging tax collectors is a valid situation of duress. There is a teaching that דִּינָא דְמַלְכוּתָא דִּינָא The law of the kingdom is the law, i.e., there is a halakhic principle that Jews must obey the laws of the state in which they live. This halakhic rationale and degree to which the law of the secular government is bindin …
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Rebel Without a Clause Nedarim 27 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
November 21st, 2022

Is an oath made under duress and coercion valid? Our Mishna on Amud Beis discusses circumstances whereby if one makes an oath under duress, such as when threatened by bandits or a rogue tax collector, the oath is not binding. Thus if he says, “The produce of the world should be forbidden to me if…[whatever he is saying is false]”, it is not binding.  (The case of the rogue tax collector is referring to a so-called governme …
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Can God Regret? Nedarim 26 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
November 20th, 2022

Our Gemara on this daf discusses the halakhic concept of הנדר שהותר מקצתו. הותר כולו if a portion of a vow is deemed null, then the entire vow may be rendered invalid. As we discussed in Psychology of the Daf Nedarim 22, there are two legal mechanisms to annul a vow.  Beis Din must either come up with a reason that you “regretted” having made it, known as “charata”, or that there was a certain ci …
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Vulnerable to Vulnerability Nedarim 24 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
November 18th, 2022

The commentary of the Rosh on Amud Aleph explains why a person may be reluctant to accept his host’s invitation without being able to reciprocate, based on the aphorism expressed in Mishley (15:27): וְשׂוֹנֵ֖א מַתָּנֹ֣ת יִחְיֶֽה He who spurns gifts will live long We can well understand why this might be a good character trait, but why does it specifically confer long life? Maharal in Nesivos Olam, Nesiv Haosher (1 …
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Pay Attention Now, or Pay Later Nedarim 25 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
November 18th, 2022

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph tells us about the famous case of “Kanya De Rava” “Rava’s Cane”, where a trickster tried to perpetrate a scam on Beis Din: דְּהָהוּא גַּבְרָא דַּהֲוָה מַסֵּיק בְּחַבְרֵיהּ זוּזֵי, אֲתָא לְקַמֵּיהּ דְּרָבָא. אֲמַר לֵיהּ לְלֹוֶה: זִיל פְּרַע לִי. אֲמַר לֵיהּ: פְּרַעְתִּיך …
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On This Day, All Jews Can Be Equal Before Hashem Nedarim 23 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
November 17th, 2022

Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses what most commentaries believe serves as the basis for the custom of the Kol Nidre service on Yom Kippur.  There are numerous kabbalistic theories as to what it signifies. On the most basic level, a person wants to come into the Day of Judgement clean and clear of any unfulfilled commitments.  On a deeper level, annulling vows publicly may inspire a theurgic heavenly response of releasing and forgiving …
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This Conversation Is Being Recorded For Quality Assurance Purposes Nedarim 22 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
November 16th, 2022

In order to halakhically annul a vow, Beis Din must either come up with a reason that you “regretted” having made it, known as “charata”, or that there was a certain circumstance that you were unaware of which, had you known, you would not have vowed, known as “pesach”.  There are nuances to this which we will discuss in upcoming essays (See Shulkhan Arukh YD 228.)  Our Gemara on Amud Aleph tells us t …
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Much Ado About A Little Nedarim 21 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
November 15th, 2022

Our gemara on amud beis references the virtue of the righteous who say little but do much.   This is most famously memorialized in Parashas Chaye Sarah where Avraham offers his guests a little water and bread, but actually provides them with a feast of delicacies (see Avos Derabbi Nosson 13:3). My father, Z”L used to say to me, “Simcha, do not commit too much, as the Yetzer Hara will overhear and try to stop you.” I do …
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Knowing Torah by Itself Does Not Do the Trick Nedarim 20 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
November 14th, 2022

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the virtue of shame. This is not pathological self-destructive shame, but rather a sense of place and humility.  That is, to recognize how tiny and insignificant we are in comparison to God.  Our lives are short and our accomplishments border on pointless, if not for the opportunity to access the infinite and the immortal, by elevating our actions via sacrifice and meaning.  To quote the lyricist …
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Pathological Attachment to Money Nedarim 19 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
November 13th, 2022

Our Gemara on 18b and 19a discusses the idea that when a person makes a vow about something that is impossible to clarify, does he have in mind to take it upon himself regardless? Or, did he only mean to include the items that surely fell under his statement? To use a simple example, if somebody says,  “I make a vow to no longer to eat fruit”, but there is a particular food product that we are unsure of whether to classify it as …
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Prior Commitments Nedarim 17 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
November 11th, 2022

Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the halakhic concept of Mushba Veomed Mehar Sinai, which literally translates as we are bound by a vow at Mount Sinai to uphold the Torah. The halakhic significance of this is to explain why a person who swears to violate a Torah principle is not obligated by this vow. He is already bound by the prior commitment of the vow at Mount Sinai. The simple understanding is that it is a literal vow. We are taught there w …
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Vain Leadership Nedarim 18 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
November 11th, 2022

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the idea that swearing falsely is more severe than merely violating a neder. Swearing falsely has an additional injunction by which God declared that, “I will not cleanse those who bear my name in vain” (Shemos 20:6). What is this special quality about swearing falsely, compared to other sins, that that draws this particular reaction? In regard to this, God says he will not cleanse. Further developin …
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Don’t Blow Off Mitzvos Nedarim 16 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
November 10th, 2022

Our Gemara on Amud Beis references the concept of Mitzvos Lav Leyhanos Nitnu.  That is, the observance of a Mitzvah is not based on experiencing any pleasure.  Thus, in theory if one made a vow to not receive any benefit from an object, in certain circumstances, he may still utilize it in the performance of a mitzvah. If a person vowed not to receive benefit from a shofar, he can still use it to blow on Rosh Hashanah, as the mitzvah is …
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Are You Running Away, or Toward? Nedarim 15 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
November 9th, 2022

This last Sunday was the NYC marathon.  Why does anyone do this?  It is hard, hard work.  Yet, it feels good.  Would it feel as good if you ran 25 miles, being forced to do so at gunpoint on a death march? Our Gemara on Amud Aleph refers to an idea that certain customs can become defacto obligations, as if you had explicitly made a vow.  Halachically this comes up in many areas discussed by poskim, such as when a person v …
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It’s All About the Mother Nedarim 14 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
November 8th, 2022

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the case of a man who made a vow at his wife, apparently in anger, stating “You shall be as my mother!”  He is literally, swearing off having relations with his wife as if she is forbidden to him like mother. The Gemara discusses that technically she is not forbidden, as in order to make an oath, one must refer to a voluntary declaration of sanctity or abstention, such as an item dedicated as a …
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Two Holy People Who Happen to Share the Same Home Nedarim 13 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
November 7th, 2022

There are matters of this world that are holy by God, and others that we can voluntarily consecrate. There is an interesting category of matters which God decrees should be holy, but also expects Man to join in this declaration. Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the mitzvah of Bechor, the first born animal that must be set aside for the Cohen and as an offering. The Gemara notes the relative uniqueness of the first born sacrifice that though it …
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Boundary Violations Nedarim 12 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
November 6th, 2022

Poor boundaries can lead to bad decisions, even when you mean well. Our Gemara references the fast day Tzom Gedaliah, which has to do with events described in Yirmiyahu 41.  Gedaliah ben Achikam, the persian government’s appointed leader of the remaining Jewish settlement in Israel, was assassinated by Yishmael ben Netanya in a cruel double cross and massacre of innocent people. The Gemara Niddah (61a) notes that the verse implies guil …
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Atoning In Advance? Nedarim 10 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
November 4th, 2022

Is there a Torah idea that one can atone for future sins? Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the reason why the Nazir must bring a sin offering. Though there have been numerous Midrashic and exegetical interpretations, the most provocative one is offered by Ramban on Chumash (Bamidbar 6:11). He says:  In accordance with the plain meaning of Scripture, [it is because] this man sins against his soul on the day of completion of his Naziritehood …
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Lo Siento Nedarim 11 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
November 4th, 2022

An area where there is significant correspondence between Torah thought and psychological thought is that of the power of speech.  Though coming from different value bases, Torah thought and psychological theory have respect for the organizing ability and impact of speech on attitude, and emotional and spiritual status.  The more you learn Nedarim, the more you see that the Torah wants to condition us to treat words as substantive.  …
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Teach, Pray, Love Nedarim 9 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
November 3rd, 2022

Our Gemara on Amud Beis tells us the famous story of Shimon Hatzaddik’s encounter with a pious and sincere Nazir. Shimon Hatzaddik kisses the young man on his head, apparently in the courtyard of the Beis HaMikdash.  The problem with this is that it seems to contradict a ruling of the Rama (OC 98:1): It is forbidden for a person to kiss one's small* children in synagogue, in order to fix in one's heart that there is no love like the lo …
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The Problem is the Cure (and it’s Us!) Nedarim 8 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
November 2nd, 2022

Our Gemara discusses apocalyptic traditions of how the righteous and the wicked will get their due at the end of days:   אֵין גֵּיהִנָּם לָעוֹלָם הַבָּא, אֶלָּא הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא מוֹצִיא חַמָּה מִנַּרְתִּיקָהּ, צַדִּיקִין מִתְרַפְּאִין בָּהּ וּרְשָׁעִים נִידּוֹנִין בָּה. שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״ו …
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I See Your Point, But I Hear Your Idea Nedarim 7 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
November 1st, 2022

Seeing and hearing are often metaphors for understanding. Is there a difference in the Hebrew language when sight is used, versus hearing, to connote perception and knowledge of events? Our Gemara on Amud Beis reflects on the danger of incurring the wrath and disapproval of the Sages.   וְתַנְיָא: כׇּל מָקוֹם שֶׁ״נָּתְנוּ חֲכָמִים עֵינֵיהֶם״, אוֹ מִיתָה אוֹ עוֹנִי It is …
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Completely Human and Incomplete Nedarim 6 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
October 31st, 2022

Honest acceptance of a limitation brings a person closer to transcending the limitation than stubbornly denying that there is one.  On a psychological level this is because we cannot work and grow to the fullest extent if we defensively deny the problem.   On a spiritual level, when we take things as far as we can, and then we give it over to God, He will close the gaps for us.  But if we just keep thinking, “I’m f …
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The Silent Treatment Nedarim 5 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
October 30th, 2022

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph describes various oaths people make, apparently in anger to forswear social contact with another person. Silent Treatment is a human behavior that has been used throughout history to express discontent and shun others. Let us study this phenomenon. According to researchers Agarwal and Prakash (“Psychological Costs and Benefits of Using Silent Treatment”, Journal of Research in Humanities and Social Science Vol …
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Hair Splitting Discussion Nedarim 4 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
October 28th, 2022

What is the significance of the Nazir not cutting his hair? We can understand that the Nazir’s abstaining from cutting his hair is to shun vanity, as is described later on in the mesechta 9b.  The Rama in Toras Haolah (III:71) explains further that the Nazir is required to abstain from three aspects: He must not drink wine, he must not become impure and he must not cut his hair. Each of these abstentions relate to a different kind of h …
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The Torah Speaks in the Vernacular Nedarim 3 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
October 28th, 2022

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses an exegetical principle, דִּבְּרָה תוֹרָה כִלְשׁוֹן בְּנֵי אָדָם The Torah speaks in the language of men.  That is to say, sometimes there can be extra verbiage if it adds to poetic value or is part of how people use idioms.  This is an obvious point, as in order for the Torah to be comprehensible and even objectively pleasant, it must use phrases that are generally u …
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Deep Understanding Nedarim 2 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
October 27th, 2022

The Ran (“U-shevuous”) on Amud Aleph uses an interesting phrase, לא ירדתי לסוף דעתו which literally means, “I was not able to descend into his understanding (or opinion)”, in other words, “I couldn't understand his reasoning”.  It is interesting to use the word descend when it comes to understanding.  Actually, a similar but opposite phrase is used in Midrashic literature (for example, …
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Personal Touch Kesuvos 112 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
October 26th, 2022

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph tells us about the various ways the sages expressed their love for the Land of Israel: רַבִּי אַבָּא מְנַשֵּׁק כֵּיפֵי דְעַכּוֹ. רַבִּי חֲנִינָא מְתַקֵּן מַתְקָלַיָּה Rabbi Abba would kiss the rocks of Akko, which was on the coast of Eretz Yisrael. Rabbi Ḥanina would repair its stumbling blocks, i.e., any potholes in the land, so that travelers would …
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Be Careful What You Wish For Kesuvos 111 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
October 25th, 2022

Even in the metaphysical world where all things are possible, it can be a bad idea to push too hard. Our Gemara on Amud Aleph, according to one text of Rashi, discusses an “oath” placed upon the Jewish people in exile to abstain from “pushing for the end.” Rashi explains the Jewish people should not force the Mashiach to come via excessive prayer. That is a difficult idea to understand. Can there be too much prayer? And I …
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Growth and Comfort Do Not Coexist Kesuvos 110 Psychology of the Daf
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
October 24th, 2022

(source of title quote Ginny Rometty)
Change is not easy, even when it is a good change. Some of life’s most stressful moments come with good changes, such as marriage, birth of a child or moving neighborhoods. Our Mishna on Amud Beis discusses the marital considerations required when moving, even from a lesser quality environment to a higher quality environment: שָׁלֹשׁ אֲרָצוֹת לַנִּשּׂוּאִין, יְהוּ …
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Blind Body Connection Kesuvos 105 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
October 16th, 2022

  Our Gemara on amud aleph, paraphrasing a series of verses, warns that a judge who takes bribes, even merely by accepting flattering actions, will eventually be blinded to the truth, and perhaps become literally blind. תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן: ״כִּי הַשּׁוֹחַד יְעַוֵּר עֵינֵי חֲכָמִים״, קַל וָחוֹמֶר לַטִּפְּשִׁין. ״וִיסַלֵּף דִּבְרֵי צַדִּיקִים״ …
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God of “Salivation” Kesuvos 104 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
October 16th, 2022

Judaism, like the healthy personalities it seeks to foster, is not rigidly about one thing. Most principles in Judaism are about balancing a tension between important and conflicting values. How could something as important as Torah, or the human personality it is designed to develop, possibly be monolithic? If so, there would be no need for more than one human. Judaism has ascetic and self-abnegating values, while at the same time discouraging e …
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