
The Gemara uses a phrase that occurs 20 times in Shas:
אֲמַר לֵיהּ: לָא שְׁמִיעַ לִי, כְּלוֹמַר לָא סְבִירָא לִי.
He said to him: I did not hear about this statement; that is to say, I do not hold in accordance with it.
I would say, the best translation is “I did not hear of this”, and then the Gemara’s narrator interjects, “That is to say, he does not agree with it.”
It is a meaningful phrase, that indicates a certain humility and gentleness. That is to say, when the sage disagreed instead of declaring outright, “You are wrong”, or even “I do not agree”, he simply says, “This matter I do not hear”. The implication is there is a possibility that it is not a disagreement, but only a lack of fully understanding the other person’s argument. Of course, since often the person making the statement is a sage of superior authority, it is also a humble way of signalling, “Maybe YOU did not hear correctly.”
In relationships we say we disagree much more than we say we didn’t hear it right or do not understand. I think this Gemara phrase is teaching proper Middos and communication skills.
Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation
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Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R, DHL is a psychotherapist who works with high conflict couples and families. He can be reached via email at simchafeuerman@gmail.com