Our Gemara on Amud Aleph analyzes the verse in Vayikra 20:9 that warns against cursing one’s parents:

If anyone curses his father and mother, that person shall be put to death; that person has cursed father and mother—and retains the bloodguilt.

In various halakhic discussions throughout the Talmud, a linguistic question arises regarding how to understand the Biblical letter vav when it serves as a conjunction. Does it mean “and,” or does it mean “or”? There is a dispute about what the default assumption is and what contextual rules are used to discern if the intent of the verse is “and” or “or.” In our Gemara, the discussion revolves around whether one must curse both father and mother to be liable for the death penalty or if even cursing one is enough.

The Shalah (Vavei HaAmudim 10.1) uses this as a way to bring extra meaning to a Midrash about Cain and the power of prayer. The Shalah quotes a Midrash (Devarim Rabbah 8:1):

Rabbi Elazar said: Do you wish to know the power of prayer? If it does not accomplish all of it, it accomplishes half of it. Cain stood against his brother Hevel and killed him. An edict was issued: “You shall wander and be unsettled (na v’nad) on earth” (Bereishis 4:12). Immediately, he stood and confessed before the Holy One, blessed be He, as it is stated: “My sin is too great to bear” (Bereishis 4:13). He said before Him: ‘Master of the universe, You bear the entire world, but You cannot bear me? You wrote: “Bearing iniquity and overlooking transgression” (Michah 7:18) – pardon my iniquity, which is great.’ Immediately, he found mercy before the Holy One, blessed be He, and the “wander” half of the edict was withheld from him, as it is written: “He resided in the land of Nod” (Bereishis 4:16). (The Midrash understands that the name of the land was not really Nod alone, but it was also an allusion to the fact that though he did not have to wander, Cain was still cursed with a sense of being unsettled, nad.) From here you learn that prayer is great before the Holy One, blessed be He.

The Shalah adds that since Cain was cursed to “wander and be unsettled (na v’nad), the conjunctive vav might mean ‘or’ and not ‘and.’ If so, there would be no evidence that Cain’s prayer worked, because the curse was either/or—‘wander or be unsettled.’ However, the Shalah says we read the vav as ‘and,’ so that Cain was indeed cursed with both, and we therefore see that his prayer was half-way received—which, when you think about it, is a pretty good plea bargain subsequent to murdering his brother.

This ability to change our fates—not through magic or sorcery, and not even via repentance per se, though that is important too, but just via direct appeal and communication with God—is a foundational belief of our religion and many religions. Without effective prayer, we would live in a world without mercy, a harsh place that does not allow for being rescued or excused, even when we do not deserve it.

The additional lesson from Cain is that even when fate is harsh and the outlook bleak, a prayer still may be partially heard, which also matters. Imagine a young person with a terrible disease, and his or her school prays and dedicates mitzvos, etc., for an entire year, but the child dies anyway. We might think our prayers were not received, but maybe they were—just not all the way, or not in the way we imagined. Of course, this can also be sappy sentimentalism, looking for ways to justify that our prayers were heard even when they were not, because certain tragedies are unbearable without believing that somehow the prayers were accepted. Yet, despite the occurrence of genuine adversities, when analyzed in a level-headed manner, it often becomes evident the ways that prayers were answered, and God was kind in the middle of a calamity.

Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation

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Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R, DHL is a psychotherapist who works with high conflict couples and families as well male sexual health. He can be reached via email at simchafeuerman@gmail.com