Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the connotation of the Hebrew word, netisha which translates approximately as, “abandon” or “leave behind”. The Torah (Shemos 23:11) commands that produce be abandoned in the field during the Shemittah year, as no commercial conduct is allowed. 

Malbim on this verse notes that though Hebrew has another word for abandon, “Azivah”, the word “Netisha” has a stronger more distancing abandonment. It implies casting it far away. 

One of the most famous verses that use this word form comes from Mishley (1:8):

שְׁמַ֣ע בְּ֭נִי מוּסַ֣ר אָבִ֑יךָ וְאַל־תִּ֝טֹּ֗שׁ תּוֹרַ֥ת אִמֶּֽךָ׃

My son, heed the discipline (musar) of your father ,And do not forsake (Titosh) the instruction (Torah) of your mother.

The Hebrew word used here to express the idea of forsaking has the same root as “Netisha”.  Let us study the construct of this verse. It seems to borrow the ironic style of a set of verses related to honoring one’s father and mother.  In Vayikra (19:3) it states:

אִ֣ישׁ אִמּ֤וֹ וְאָבִיו֙ תִּירָ֔אוּ

You shall each revere your mother and your father.

In Shemos (20:12) it states:

כַּבֵּ֥ד אֶת־אָבִ֖יךָ וְאֶת־אִמֶּ֑ךָ

Honor your father and your mother

Rashi (Vayikra ibid, quoting Kiddushin 30b-31a) notes that in the verse discussing reverential fear, the mother is stated first. While in Shemos, when discussing honor, it mentions the father first.  This is because the Torah is emphasizing the aspect that is less intuitive. One will naturally want to honor one’s mother whose role is to provide nurture, and one may naturally have more fear and respect for one’s father who often, through normal male aggression, is more strict.  The Torah therefore reminds us to run against our nature, and give both parents proper respect and honor.

Here too in Mishley, we might say that a mother provides education in basic manners and decency (“share your toys, brush your teeth etc.”) which is “mussar”, while a father who represents the outside world’s rules and standards, that are legal and regulatory, are called “Torah”. Yet, Solomon is advising to heed the Mussar of your father, and the Torah of your mother, similar to the Gemara Kiddushin, to go against the basic inclinations.

If we turn our attention to the choice of the word “Netisha”, we wonder why did Solomon use such a strong form of abandonment?  By using that word form, it suggests that one ought to slightly distance the Torah of one’s mother, just not totally abandon it.  I wonder if this verse is addressing the psychological-developmental challenge of the young man. To be strong, he cannot be a Mama’s boy. No matter how many times Momma says, “Ignore the bully and he will go away”, or “Take the high road and don’t descend to their level”, plain and simple, it doesn’t always work.  Sometimes, the school and adults cannot adequately protect a child. Even according to Torah ethics, when there is no choice and imminent loss, a person can take the law into his own hands (“Adam Dan Din Leatzmo”, Bava Kamma 27b.)  Once in a while, the little boy has to turn his back on his mother’s feminine and conciliatory teachings, and just plain fight back against his foes, toe to toe.

This is not just true on the micro level, it is also true on the macro level. Psychoanalytically and unconsciously, the Gentile nations of the world relate to the Jews as a feminized people. We are the artists, the intellectuals, and even carry a permanent symbol on our most masculine part of our body indicating the subjugation of an aspect of our manhood to God.  The UN wants Israel to make nice and act like Ghandi, while our enemies seek to run us into the sea. No, we will not do that.  We will fight the bullies.

Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation

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