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Showing Results 1 - 10 (50 total)
Peer pressure: Good or bad?
Author: Chaim Neuhoff, Ph.D.
August 7th, 2018
Question: Can you please give me some good guidelines on how to deal with peer pressure? I am very affected by what the people around me are doing.  I don't know if it's that I'm afraid of people getting angry with me or I need to be the center of attention. I think that that is my most difficult challenge and if I could just not be afraid to be different I would be a much better person.   This is a good question. You are …
Tisha B'av, suffering, and Hashem's love
Author: Chaim Neuhoff, Ph.D.
July 18th, 2018
Based on a Shiur from Rabbi Eliyahu Brudny  Tisha B’av, as we all know, is a tremendous paradox. It is simultaneously a Yomtov, a fast-day, and a Yom Avel that all somehow go hand in hand. We sit on the floor like Availim and then, based on the Pasuk of "Koro Aloi Moed", we omit several sad parts of davening  including lamnatzeiach, tachanun, or tzidkoscha tzedek.  This is such a rare occurrence to have su …
Suicides Have Increased: Is This an Existential Crisis?
Author: Chaim Neuhoff, Ph.D.
July 4th, 2018
I wanted to share excerpts from this New York Times article by Clay Routledge.  It touches on many important themes including the role of meaning, community, contributing, family, and religion.   I touched on some of these themes in the following blogposts.   https://nefesh.org/ChaimNeuhoff/footsteps-ii.html.  Related to the loneliness and despair of those who have left Orthodoxy.    https://nefesh.org/ChaimNeuhoff/a …
My child is becoming obese
Author: Chaim Neuhoff, Ph.D.
June 18th, 2018
 Question: We b'H have a wonderful almost 10-year-old son; he is a fantastic kid, smart, conscientious, studious, well-behaved. bright, a real baal middos and a budding  talmid chacham. He brings us a tremendous amount of nachas. The problem, he likes to eat and has been steadily gaining since 5 years old. First, it was ten pounds, then 20, and now more each passing year. At almost 10 years old, he is 130 lbs.  …
Scared of the Sacred
Author: Chaim Neuhoff, Ph.D.
May 29th, 2018
Question: I would like to get your opinion on something that has been bothering me for a long time. I am afraid to do hagba (lifting the Torah scroll). I have only done it once in my life ( with a really small Sefer Torah). I should be strong enough but I just have such a fear that I will drop it. I will usually duck out of shul when it’s time for hagbah so that the Gabbai won’t approach me for it and if I do get asked I always r …
Which career is right for me?
Author: Chaim Neuhoff, Ph.D.
May 22nd, 2018
Question: The time has come in my life for me to make a parnassah to support my family. I am having a difficult time choosing what career path I would like to take and what field I want to get involved in. I am generally not a person that has a hard time making up his mind but I can’t seem to settle on something that I think I would be good at and interested in. Someone mentioned that therapists are trained in career counseling so …
LGBTQ inclusion in the Orthodox community?
Author: Chaim Neuhoff, Ph.D.
May 15th, 2018
 A colleague recently shared the following video with me. https://youtu.be/xrFyW9MITxs This is a video of young Orthodox men and women who self identify as homosexual. I found the clip, by and large, to be evocative and poignant. These are people who I identified and empathized with. The communities, schools, and types of families discussed were my own; they could have been me, my neighbors, or even my children. At the same time, I found som …
Rabbi or Therapist?
Author: Chaim Neuhoff, Ph.D.
April 23rd, 2018
Question: Our daughter has recently asked us to see (and pay for) a therapist. She says that her reasons for this are because she feels empty, without direction in life and is not finding fulfillment. She is 22 years old, has never had any issues before, had no major difficulties in life, has a good job and has always done well. My husband and I have always felt that she could be a little more sincere with her yiddishkeit. She does ever …
Anxious Children & Holocaust Education
Author: Chaim Neuhoff, Ph.D.
April 16th, 2018
Question: My 5th grade son recently came home from a friend’s house frightened and in tears. He was literally shaking. When I finally managed to calm him down he told me that his friend had been showing him books with pictures of the Holocaust. There were pictures of the mass graves, crematoria, and people being shot and hung. Including little children. My husband and I sat with him for a long time trying to reassure him and calm him down. …
Should I quit smoking?
Author: Chaim Neuhoff, Ph.D.
March 26th, 2018
Question: I took my first cigarette in 9th grade. I have been smoking steadily for the past 15 years. If I am honest I realize that it is a big health risk but that doesn’t seem to motivate me to stop. I guess I kind of “want to want” to stop. It certainly would make my wife and parents happy.  My question is 1. Do you have any suggestions as to how to become more motivated to quit? 2. Are there any specific methods th …