Author: Chaim Neuhoff, Ph.D.

December 10th, 2018

Question: We have a wonderful daughter who is back from seminary, happily working and doing very well BH, but here is the concern...  While my daughter was in high school she started taking on more and more chumras and started becoming more and more frum and shtark. It affected her relationship with her friends, how she dressed, what she ate, (or didn't eat), her sleep, her davening, her ability and confidence in he …
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Author: Chaim Neuhoff, Ph.D.

November 30th, 2018

Words of Chizuk from Rav Yeruchem Olshin Shlita Publicized with permission   ברשות the חשובע עולם:   First, I understand that you all take care of Jewish patients. Your work is about helping our brothers as the רמב"ם writes (Matnas Aniyim 10:2)  כל ישראל כאחים הם. This concept is not just an isolated רמב"ם. It is also a גמרא in Daf Bais of מגילה: The Chachamim made it easy for the villa …
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Author: Chaim Neuhoff, Ph.D.

November 5th, 2018

Question: My parents are very controlling, critical, self-centered and emotionally unstable (they may possibly have personality disorders).  One of my sisters recently started disconnecting by minimizing her interactions with my parents. My parents are very hurt and angry and are trying many tactics to change my sister's behaviors (which includes badmouthing her to rabbanim). I come from a large family and all of the children are m …
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Author: Chaim Neuhoff, Ph.D.

October 15th, 2018

Question: My very bright, mature, lovable, happy 5-year-old son has begun to experience what I have been told is called "night terror". He is a very happy child during the day, definitely with a more intense personality, but very healthy and well-adjusted and extremely bright. At night, he will wake up in terror, screaming, cowering in the corner, looking at me or my husband with terror, eyes opened wide, with real fear, and then a few minut …
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Author: Chaim Neuhoff, Ph.D.

September 17th, 2018

Question: I am a young adult with anxiety and constantly beat myself with mistakes that I make. I was wondering if you can please give me insight on how to deal with it. I'm a bit impulsive. For example, I spent a bit too much on food recently and now I'm upset that I don't have any money left for more important things I need. I think very bad thoughts that are not letting me move on in life. I get very tense and have negative thou …
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Author: Chaim Neuhoff, Ph.D.

September 2nd, 2018

 Question: I have struggled with anxiety all my life. I spent a few years in therapy and BH have it under control to the point where is doesn't severely impact my life like it used to. My question is regarding the upcoming Yemei Hadin I wonder if the paralyzing Yirah that I used to feel is the proper avodah for me or, given my predisposition, not a good idea to focus on. Perhaps precisely the opposite I should work on remaining cal …
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Author: Chaim Neuhoff, Ph.D.

August 7th, 2018

Question: Can you please give me some good guidelines on how to deal with peer pressure? I am very affected by what the people around me are doing.  I don't know if it's that I'm afraid of people getting angry with me or I need to be the center of attention. I think that that is my most difficult challenge and if I could just not be afraid to be different I would be a much better person.   This is a good question. You are …
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Author: Chaim Neuhoff, Ph.D.

July 18th, 2018

Based on a Shiur from Rabbi Eliyahu Brudny  Tisha B’av, as we all know, is a tremendous paradox. It is simultaneously a Yomtov, a fast-day, and a Yom Avel that all somehow go hand in hand. We sit on the floor like Availim and then, based on the Pasuk of "Koro Aloi Moed", we omit several sad parts of davening  including lamnatzeiach, tachanun, or tzidkoscha tzedek.  This is such a rare occurrence to have su …
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Author: Chaim Neuhoff, Ph.D.

July 4th, 2018

I wanted to share excerpts from this New York Times article by Clay Routledge.  It touches on many important themes including the role of meaning, community, contributing, family, and religion.   I touched on some of these themes in the following blogposts.   https://nefesh.org/ChaimNeuhoff/footsteps-ii.html.  Related to the loneliness and despair of those who have left Orthodoxy.    https://nefesh.org/ChaimNeuhoff/a …
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Author: Chaim Neuhoff, Ph.D.

June 18th, 2018

 Question: We b'H have a wonderful almost 10-year-old son; he is a fantastic kid, smart, conscientious, studious, well-behaved. bright, a real baal middos and a budding  talmid chacham. He brings us a tremendous amount of nachas. The problem, he likes to eat and has been steadily gaining since 5 years old. First, it was ten pounds, then 20, and now more each passing year. At almost 10 years old, he is 130 lbs.  …
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