Author: Dr. Alan Singer

September 1st, 2021

The foundation stone of a building, also known as the cornerstone or setting stone, is the first stone set in the construction of a masonry foundation. All other stones will be set in reference to this stone, and will thus determine the position of the entire structure. This metaphor can be used in searching for the foundation stone of marriage.   In my professional opinion, the foundation stone of marriage is TRUST. …
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Author: Sara Teichman, Psy.D.

August 26th, 2015

Many a parent believes in the power of constant discipline, providing further proof that “when you’re a hammer, everything looks like a nail.” However, in my mind, strong discipline is overkill – and subject to the law of diminishing returns. In other words, when it comes to discipline, more is less. Like any system, overuse may breed ineffectiveness and even resentment. And the last thing a parent wants to do is compromis …
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Author: Rabbi Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.,

June 2nd, 2022

Dear Readers   Welcome to the May edition of Mind Body & Soul, themed “Finding the Balance”.  For some of us, balance is as easy as riding a bike; for others, balance can be elusive. This is particularly the case for those of us whose lives encompass extremes. We may be up, we may be down. We may love some politicians and commentators; we may hate others.   Some of us might even experience our religious lives in ext …
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Author: Joel Verstaendig, PhD

November 25th, 2014

  "A merry heart is a good medicine and a broken spirit dries the bones.” (Proverbs: Chapter 17, Verse 22) The health benefits of humor and a good laugh have long been hypothesized, and recent research has substantiated these assumptions. Norman Cousins, who researched the biochemistry of emotions, was diagnosed with a debilitating and painful illness late in life. In his best-selling book, Anatomy of an Illness, he related how ten min …
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Author: Marlene Greenspan, MA, LPC

November 25th, 2014

From anxiety to trauma, fear is a feeling of many colors. Colors and musical notes have a certain resonance or intensity that may vary with the emotion the artist wants to evoke. Feelings are emotions and also have stronger or weaker intensities, depending on the way a person is expressing those feelings inwardly or outwardly. Fear may begin with a mild feeling of worry or concern about someone or something that can escalate to the vibrancy of pa …
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Author: Douglas Balin, LMSW, MPA

March 8th, 2022

When we hear the phrase crisis in relationships, the first thing that comes to mind is marital strife and problems between parents and teen-aged children.  There is, however, another crisis that is facing numerous families; when an older adult parent is experiencing a health or mental health situation that requires family caregiving.  One person usually becomes the caregiver. The ensuing crisis can literally tear a family apart! The Fam …
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Author: Shimmy Feintuch, LMSW

November 25th, 2014

What is fear? Is it a monster under your bed, or in the closet? Is it wide eyes, thumping heart, panicked breathing? Is it dangling off a cliff by your fingertips? Fear is all those things, and more. Fear, at its essence, is actually a good thing. Our bodies let us know when we are in a dangerous situation, so we can act accordingly. Do you have an aversion to standing near the subway platform edge? Do you tend to walk faster through a rough neig …
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Author: Kalman Canant, LCSW, CSAT-c

November 25th, 2015

The Serenity Prayer The serenity prayer is central to various 12-step programs, such as Alcoholics Anonymous and the other “anonymous” groups. Outside the context of the 12-steps as well, the prayer helps many people to handle daily life issues. With the prayer’s concepts, one learns to “live life on life’s terms” and cope with reality. Instead of using a substance, a process, or a relationship for instant grat …
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Author: Kalman Canant, LCSW, CSAT-c

August 26th, 2015

Life seldom gives us exactly what we want or  the way we want it. Disappointment can be difficult for us in many ways, causing a lot of disturbance. The way we expected reality to turn out just doesn’t match the way that it does turn out, and this incongruity produces much suffering. Expectations are like entry ramps into our journey through the spiral of non-acceptance. We experience at least two stages on this journey, and enter into …
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February 26th, 2019

By Dvorah Levy, LCSW I had been lamenting to friends about my empty nest until over the summer, two birds, weeks apart, found their way into my home. I then stopped complaining.   “The bus is coming in ten minutes.” “What time will you be home for dinner? Is there anything in particular you want me to make?” “Do you have money for your trip?” “Ice cream again before dinner?!” “It’s …
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Author: Pamela Siller, MD

November 30th, 2019

“To be empowered you have to know what you want for your life and why. Without some degree of personal empowerment, your life will live you. Nothing changes unless you change it. No matter what you’re seeking it can only happen if you do something about it” (The Startup) Some children are lucky enough to grow up with parents who are nurturing and supportive. They teach their children from a young age that they can accomplish the …
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Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.

November 30th, 2019

Dear Readers: Welcome to the newest edition of Mind Body & Soul. Its theme is. Power is an evocative term, an emotion-laden concept. Allow me to illustrate: Have you ever been in the presence of a powerful person? How did you come to know that they were powerful? Did you feel as though their power was supporting you, that some of their power might even be flowing through you, making you stronger? Alternatively, were you painfully aware of hav …
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November 28th, 2017

By Dvora Entin, LCSW Let’s share a cup of tea: the emotional experience of grieving a pregnancy loss   Bereavement doesn't really come with an instruction manual.  Mourning does. As Torah guided people, we get the directions about burial, shiva, tearing clothes, where to sit, and what to cover, but the experience of what comes next is a bit absent for the grieving. Especially for those that have a less defined, focused period for …
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Author: Douglas Balin, LMSW, MPA

September 1st, 2021

The Covid 19 pandemic has placed a spotlight on a long-neglected issue; the emotional health of older adults in America. Older adults have become a significant part of our society. Each day, 10,000 individuals celebrate their 65th birthday in the United States, and there are more than 40 million people over the age of 65, according to the Census Bureau. Peluso, Watts and Parsons, in their book, Changing Aging, Changing Family Therapy, predict tha …
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June 29th, 2017

By Chaya Blumenberg, LMSW To truly understand the impact of living with a mental illness, you either have to know someone who is diagnosed, have a diagnosis yourself, or have witnessed firsthand how mental illness can impact individuals and families. Take the journey of Racheli, for example, who has been diagnosed with “unspecified mood disorder.” Hers can be defined, not as a journey of burden and hardship, but as one of immense triu …
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Author: Sarah Kahan, LCSW

May 31st, 2015

The recent release of the movie “The Imitation Game” is about the life of Alan Turing, who lived from 1912-1954. He was a British computer scientist, mathematician, logician, cryptanalyst, philosopher, mathematical biologist, and marathon and ultra distance runner. He was highly influential in the development of computer science, providing a formalization of the concepts of "algorithm" and "computation" with the Turing machine, which …
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Author: By Dr. Alan M. Singer

June 2nd, 2022

Ninety percent of the therapists in the United States are women. The reason men shy away from becoming therapists is not the central issue of this essay. The dearth of male therapists however, plays a significant role in male resistance to couples therapy, and that is the topic of this essay.   Traditional couple’s therapy is biased towards women, as they tend to be the caretakers of relationships. Conversation, thoughts, feelings, and …
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Author: Ovadia Trepp, MSW, LCSW

November 25th, 2014

For the purpose of this article, we will be discussing two distinct types of problems that impact marriages, namely, couple problems and individual problems. We will also be talking about two types (or modalities) of therapy: marital and individual. Like the handyman who needs to know the details of a job before choosing the appropriate set of tools, it is helpful to identify the type of issue you are experiencing before choosing one type of ther …
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June 3rd, 2019

By: Sara Teichman This question was a no-brainer to our grandparents and perhaps our parents as well. Parents were thought to be always in the right. The very idea of them apologizing was considered ludicrous, to say the least. Yet, the ability to apologize is critical in all human relationships. Let’s face it: in close relationships there are inevitably little breaches and breaks. However, by apologizing we mend the tears and strengthen th …
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Author: Douglas Balin, LMSW, MPA

February 25th, 2021

There are so many myths about aging that have become stereotypes, to the point that even older adults have come to believe they are true. Well, our mission is to debunk those myths and give you the truths about what happens as we all, G-d willing, become older.  It is important, as these stereotypes frame prejudice against older adults. It will often result in ageism, which is discrimination against the older population.  Much worse, ma …
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February 26th, 2018

Disclosure, How and When? By: Pamela P. Siller, MD “Hello doctor, this is Mrs. Goldman. I just wanted to let you know that Shmuel Rosen, his mother, or the Shadchen will be calling about Rivky. Such a wonderful boy, truly Bashert, but he has some questions for you. Just let them know my Rivky is fine, and all should be good, Kol Tuv”. Voicemails such as these, or any variations thereof, may instill fear, or at the very least, some de …
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March 1st, 2015

Pamela P. Siller, MD   All of us know what sadness feels like. Some may feel disappointment with a less-than-perfect grade in school. Others get upset after an argument with a spouse. Many of us have cried after a loss, whether a death, argument, or even a geographic relocation. Sadness is expressed differently by each of us, as we are individuals. Yelling, crying, and irritability are the most common reactions to loss or unhappiness, but so …
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Author: Michael J. Salamon, Ph.D.

November 25th, 2015

In the United States, roughly 12 million women suffer some form of depression. Symptoms of depression include changes in mood, sleep patterns and eating habits, along with decreased pleasure in many activities, fatigue, agitation, feeling worthless, helpless and alone, and difficulty concentrating. Although not everyone suffers from all these symptoms, women who have some of the symptoms should get proper care. Unfortunately, only about half of w …
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November 28th, 2017

By Sara Teichman, Psy.D. Do you feel like you can’t tell your kids anything? Even something like “remember your lunch money” or “Did you shut the air in your room?” Forget about something that is actually instructive – mind you, not critical. So, does a reminder that there is a family Bar Mitzvah the night before finals or a suggestion to take winter clothes to the school Shabbaton elicit a barrage of eye rolli …
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September 4th, 2018

By: Dr. Michael J. Salamon How do we make decisions? How do we process information and use it to help us determine which decisions are appropriate for us to make? The human brain is an intricate organ. It processes voluminous amounts of information every second and responds instantly to complex data. To operate that way, the brain uses algorithms, allowing us to react rapidly. Evaluating this process is an enlightening study of the brain and how …
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Author: Alan M. Singer, Ph.D, LMSW

June 3rd, 2021

My interest in this topic dates back to 2001 when the renowned National Marriage Project published its study of 1003 married and single young adults titled, “Who Wants to Marry A Soulmate?” Three findings were enlightening: Ninety-four percent of never-married singles agree that when you marry, you want your spouse to be your soulmate - first and foremost. Secondly, eighty-two percent of young adults agree that it is unwise for a woma …
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Author: Danielle Dragon, PsyD

June 2nd, 2021

Dear Brave One,   Before you come to your first appointment, I think it’s only fair that I share with you how stepping foot into my office could potentially impact you for the rest of your life.  There will be some real consequences to borrowing the name of “client.”  And I know you’re not thinking about that now.  You just want to feel better.  But it’s only right that I be transparent about …
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Author: Jefferey Singer, PhD

December 4th, 2020

Dealing With This Depressive Dystopia: Ecclesiastes, COVID, and the Paradoxical Commandments   By Jefferey Singer   Before you think there is a new diagnosis being hoisted on the public, please rest assured that “depressive dystopia” is my own term for how I view our current collective condition. COVID life has helped create a societal malaise that has pushed our emotional tolerances to a state of constant, uncomfortable su …
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Author: Chana Mark, LCSW

August 31st, 2022

Does feeling angry at someone always have to end in angry words, sore feelings and helpless frustration?  Maybe not. In Pirkei Avos 5:11 we learn, “A person who seldom gets angry and is quick to be mollified is a tzaddik.” Tosfos Yom Tov and Rabbeinu Yona both point out that the Mishna is telling us that it is not humanly expectable to never get angry. Rabbeinu Yona notes that there are times when Kavod Shamayim requires it. Anot …
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June 29th, 2017

By Dr. Sara Teichman Many a mother feels driven to distraction by her young child’s curiosity. Whether her child is into everything, tries to take things apart, or perpetually asks “why” – well, it’s enough to drive a mother crazy. Though there’s no denying that the curious child is a handful, curiosity is a very positive characteristic. In fact, curiosity is critical for our child to learn and grow throug …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

June 2nd, 2021

The Recent daf Yomi, daily Talmud reading, (Yoma 23) discusses the prohibition of revenge and grudge bearing:   â�¦What is revenge and what is bearing a grudge? Revenge is illustrated by the following example: One said to his fellow: “Lend me your sickle”, and he said: “No”. The next day he, the one who had refused to lend the sickle, said to the other person: “Lend me your ax.” If he said to him: “I …
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Author: Pamela P. Siller, MD

August 28th, 2017

We have all experienced trepidation before a life-changing event, or a small anxiety-provoking experience. The feelings of butterflies in your stomach, your heart pounding in your chest, or the need to run to the bathroom several times in an hour, is a familiar sensation to most everybody. Regardless of whether you are worried about an upcoming flight, an important business meeting or a life-altering phone call, the physical sensation is the same …
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Author: Chana Simmonds, MSW, LCSW

November 25th, 2014

  In the 12th century, the Rambam (Moshe ben Maimon, Maimonides), addressed the interconnection of the mind, body and spirit. He recognized that an ill person's thoughts and beliefs affected both his emotional state and physical experience. He did not believe in amulets, and yet, he wrote in his Laws of the Sabbath that a patient who believed that charms or talisman were healing should be allowed to wear them, even on Shabbat, because it mig …
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Author: Sara Teichman, Psy.D.

August 28th, 2017

All too many parents struggle with discipline. They will often complain that they have trouble making their rules stick, and busy themselves with searching for the “magic” that will make the process of discipline work. They may search for a list of punishments that they can whip out at a moment’s notice in the hope that that would get the children to listen. Unfortunately, despite ads and claims to the contrary, there is no magi …
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Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.

February 25th, 2021

Dear Readers Welcome to the February edition of Mind Body and Soul, titled “Conquering our Fears”.  Whereas anxiety may be considered a constant companion to only some of us, COVID has brought some degree of fear and uncertainty to virtually all of us. In this vein, I hope you, our readers, experience the following articles, in a soothing, calming manner.  In this edition, Rona Novick walks us through the steps of providing …
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Author: Menachem Hojda LMSW CCTP

August 29th, 2019

Eighty years ago, in the summer of 1939, fear and anticipation gripped the world. In London, government officials grappled with the difficult question of how to keep children safe during the expected bombing of London by the Nazis. The plan that was conceived involved loading thousands of children, with notes pinned to their clothing recording their identification and essential information, onto trains which carried them into the British countrys …
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Author: Ilana Rosen, LCSW

February 29th, 2016

 Chana* was clearly shaken when she came into session. After a childhood of abuse and significant trauma, she has been painstakingly working to become the best mother she could be. As a mother of five and approaching middle-age, Chana and I had spent months exploring her hopes and fears of having another baby. In addition to her therapy, Chana sees a chiropractor who gives her “corrections.” Recently her chiropractor, a …
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Author: Moshe Norman, LCSW

February 25th, 2021

Confidential: Psychotherapy behind the Scenes Gestalt Therapy: Empty Chair Technique “I can’t do it anymore.” “Therapy is getting to you, isn’t it?” “No, I’m not talking about therapy.” I raise my eyebrows. “I’m talking about living. Yoel had been the victim of abuse for two and a half years during his elementary school years. His parents struggled with their own marital strife, …
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Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.

August 31st, 2020

Dear Readers, We are six months into a pandemic that has impacted almost every facet of our lives. Many of us have emerged from the more extreme forms of lockdown and are encountering an outside world that bears, at best, a limited resemblance to the world we once knew. Simchos are being celebrated on a size and scale that seems familiar; yet not all of us can safely attend. Some of us have been able to return to work; others have not. The childr …
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Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.

August 30th, 2019

In one of my early graduate classes, our professor posed the following question, “Given that so much of our existence touches on cycles—night and day, the seasons of the year, evaporation and rainfall, to name but a few—is there anything that can be described as linear?” One brave student volunteered the answer that human life is linear: a child is born, they mature, become an adult, begin to age, and then they die. Our pr …
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