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In My Mind (and on the couch)
Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW
Click here to view my clinical profile
A Selection Of Articles, Musings, And Information Detailing The Struggles Of The Ordinary Person; A Celebration Of The Individual's Resilience To Overcome Challenges And Live Authentically.
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Showing Results 1 - 10 (122 total)
Forgiveness: Favor or Responsibility?
Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW
September 11th, 2018
  “I can't forgive my parents,” clients tell me. “I can't forgive my son for what he did, or my daughter, my sister, my grandparent.” Others ask, “Do I need to forgive him? Do I need to forgive her?” I speak now not as a Rebbetzin giving a shiur on forgiveness, but as a therapist. On the psychological role of forgiveness. How forgiveness is different than acceptance. And how, in order to move on, to heal, …
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Apology Power: Just in time for the High Holidays!
Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW
September 2nd, 2018
  When I reminded my married son about the incident, he said, “I was six, Ma!” “But you apologized,” I said. “I did,” he said, laughing. “We became best friends.” My daughter-in-law looked at me quizzically. I explained. A mother in my son's class called to tell me that he and a bunch of other boys were teasing another boy about his weight. My son allegedly called him fatso. Of course I did not …
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Going To Prison: How Can I Forgive?
Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW
August 27th, 2018
  My husband's brother is going to jail for eighteen months and with good behavior will be out in about a year. This is devastating to our family. We are a very close family, and we had no idea that he was involved in some illegal, white-collar activities. When he was first arrested, the family raised money for his defense lawyer and did everything they could to help him. At this point, I am sick of everyone feeling sorry for him and being p …
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Co-Dependency: what it is, what it is not
Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW
August 19th, 2018
  Co-dependent. Everyone uses the word without knowing what it really means. If somebody does not like the brother-in-law married to their sister, and miracles of miracles, their sister likes him anyway, the family is already labeling her co-dependent. And sometimes they may be right and sometimes they may be wrong. But what is certain is that nobody I know that has used this word to describe family members, their neighbors, or even themselv …
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My Husband Wants to Become a Social Worker: ask the therapist
Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW
August 12th, 2018
Question: My husband was in Kollel for nine years and then in the classroom for 3. He's thinking about getting a degree in social work and I'm really scared it will change the wonderful person I know. Not to put you down, Mindy, and I don't know you at all-- do you think that social work school can change a person's Yiddishkeit level? What about his interactions with family? He is the kind of person people feel drawn to and talk to etc and he fe …
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Desperate But Not Mentally Ill: a shidduch question for the shidduch season
Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW
August 6th, 2018
  Question: Dear Mindy, I know this is not a question that can be really answered in a column, but I feel whatever light you can shed on this issue will benefit not only me but many of my single friends. I am a divorced 28 years old in shidduchim. As you can imagine, I am being redt the strangest suggestions. Even though I am a fairly mainstream Bais Yaakov-type of girl, teaching in a local high school, it's not only my age and divorce statu …
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Mourn Until Morn (or even longer): Grieving the first year after a loss
Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW
July 19th, 2018
  Blah, blah, blah. Everyone is driving you crazy. Or you are doing a pretty good job making yourself crazy. Your parent died yesterday. Two months ago. Two years ago. Even twenty years ago, and everyone gives your their dumb opinions (notice how later on I assume my opinion to be the only smart one, ha!) about how you should be feeling, how you should be grieving. And either you—or somebody else—thinks that you are not grievi …
3 comments
Green Grass, Green Envy: The nature of people
Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW
July 14th, 2018
  Question: Every Shabbos Nachamu, my entire neighborhood leaves to the Catskill Mountains. They go to family or friends who have bungalows or summer homes there. It’s very hard for me to stay home with my family when I know that my sister-in-law has a large summer home that has plenty of room for all of us but can’t be bothered to invite us. In general I feel that she disdains our family for not being of her social (rich) calibe …
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Is It Okay for My Therapist to Give ME a Gift? Part 2 about Gifting
Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW
July 7th, 2018
  So I am writing my column on the ethics of a therapist accepting gifts from clients. And like I had written, I was really sure that it is unethical to accept gifts. Until I did some research for my column, and unbelievably, not only is it not unethical to accept gifts from clients (of course under the right circumstances as explained in my article), but not accepting gifts can be really bad therapy. And that is unethical. And because I l …
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Love Addiction, Love Obsession: a short story
Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW
July 1st, 2018
“Oh my goodness!” Chava exclaimed when she chanced upon Eva in the supermarket aisle, their overloaded carts bumping into each other between the cereals and cornflake crumbs. “How have you been?” “What's it been?” asked Eva, conveying her delight in meeting Chava. “Nine years since I graduated high school?” “More like forever!” joked Chava. “Where have been at all these years …
4 comments
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