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Compliance is not the Same as Agreement Kiddushin 45 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
September 27th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses a scenario where a daughter who is a minor accepts marriage in front of her father but without his explicit consent. The Gemara discusses what to make of his silence: is it assent or seething anger? This highlights an important aspect of human nature – a person can feel so trapped in a situation that he will externally comply while internally boiling with anger. As parents and educators, when we find oursel …
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Not So Respectful Discourse Kiddushin 44 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
September 26th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph relates a scene that occurred in the Beis Midrash where Reish Lakish was screaming like a "cruchia" bird, and no one paid attention to his halakhic argument. What was this "cruchia" bird? Some translate it as a crane, which apparently makes a very loud cawing sound. However, Rashi here identifies it as an Agur. Elsewhere, an Agur bird is identified with a parrot (see Radak Yirmiyahu 8:7. Radak himself learns that "cruchia …
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Repentance: The Ball is in your Court Kiddushin 43 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
September 25th, 2023

In previous dappim, we learned that except in unusual circumstances, "אין שליח לדבר עבירה" (there is no agency when it comes to sin). That is to say, the one who carries out the act is fully liable since, as the Gemara says, "Whom does one obey, the master or the student?" In other words, God's law takes precedence, and there can never be an assignment of agency that contradicts God's command. Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses a …
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Whose Orders Are We Following? Kiddushin 42 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
September 24th, 2023

In our Gemara, we've been discussing the concept of agency, "shelichut." Several important principles have emerged: It is more honorable to perform a mitzvah oneself rather than appointing an agent, even if the mitzvah could technically be carried out by someone else. The concept of "Letikune Shidarticha" suggests that if an agent performs an action that clearly contradicts the appointer's intent, the agency is not valid for that particular ac …
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Spiritual Dusting Off Before Shabbos Kiddushin 41 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
September 22nd, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses how great rabbis would personally tend to Shabbos preparations, even tasks that might be considered menial, to honor the sanctity of Shabbos: Rav Yosef said: It is more fitting that the mitzvah be performed by the person himself than by means of his agent. For example, there is a story of Rav Safra, who would singe the head of an animal on Shabbos eve himself to prepare it for consumption on Shabbos. Similarly, …
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Unnatural Responses to Natural Temptations Kiddushin 40 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
October 5th, 2023

  Our Gemara on Amud Aleph tells us that if one successfully overcomes a particular temptation to sin, they will merit miraculous salvation. Ben Yehoyada explains that this is "Middah K'neged Middah," a measure for measure response from God. In other words, if we, as individuals, choose to forgo immediate gratification of our natural desires and drives for a higher spiritual purpose, God reciprocates by suspending natural laws and granting u …
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Your Special Mitzvah Kiddushin 39 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
September 21st, 2023

Our Mishna on Amud Beis presents a cryptic concept, highlighting the potential power of just one mitzvah: Anyone who performs one mitzvah has goodness bestowed upon him, his life is lengthened, and he inherits the land, i.e., life in the World-to-Come. And anyone who does not perform one mitzvah does not have goodness bestowed upon him, his life is not lengthened, and he does not inherit the land of the World-to-Come. The Gemara goes on to explai …
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Adjustment Period Kiddushin 38 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
September 20th, 2023

The Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses how, on the day of Moses' passing, the Manna ceased, but the Jewish people continued to be sustained by the leftover Manna until the 16th of Nissan. Similarly, the Gemara mentions that the dough-cakes the Jews took from Egypt tasted like the Manna. Is the Gemara merely recounting historical events, or does it hold a deeper significance? Shem Mishmuel, in Shelach 10, offers an explanation that goes beyond histori …
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Pour on the Effort Kiddushin 37 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
September 19th, 2023

In our Gemara on Amud Beis, the discussion centers around whether the Jewish people in the wilderness were obligated to provide accompanying wine libations for their sacrifices, was required in the Temple. This inquiry seems to touch upon practicality, specifically the extent of effort the Torah expected from the Jews to procure wine for these libations in the harsh wilderness conditions. Indeed, though the Torah explicitly mentions that the Jews …
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One-Sided Unconditional Love Kiddushin 36 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
September 18th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph delves into the intricate relationship between God and the Jewish people, particularly when the latter stray from their divine path: תַנְיָא: ״בָּנִים אַתֶּם לַה׳ אֱלֹהֵיכֶם״, בִּזְמַן שֶׁאַתֶּם נוֹהֲגִים מִנְהַג בָּנִים – אַתֶּם קְרוּיִם בָּנִים, אֵין אַתֶּם נוֹהֲגִים מִנְהַג בָּנִים &nd …
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If You Believe That You Can Damage, Then Believe That You Can Fix Kiddushin 35 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
September 17th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the halakhic significance of female facial hair if it is considered like a beard. The matter is relevant regarding whether the laws of leprosy of the beard will apply to this area or the laws of skin leprosy, which have different criteria. The Gemara seems to consider the possibility that even though the verse explicitly includes female facial hair as part of the beard leprosy (Vayikra 13:29, "A man or woman who …
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Giving Pregnant Women Their Due Kiddushin 34 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
September 15th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph questions the Mishna’s declaration of a general rule regarding women not being obligated in time-bound mitzvos: וּכְלָלָא הוּא? הֲרֵי מַצָּה, שִׂמְחָה, הַקְהֵל, דְּמִצְוַת עֲשֵׂה שֶׁהַזְּמַן גְּרָמָא, וְנָשִׁים חַיָּיבוֹת! וְתוּ: וַהֲרֵי תַּלְמוּד תּוֹרָה, פְּרִיָּה וּרְבִיָּה, …
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The Beginning of Wisdom Kiddushin 33 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
September 15th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph tells us why Rabbi Yochanan would stand up and honor a gentile, elderly person: רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן הֲוָה קָאֵי מִקַּמֵּי סָבֵי דְאַרְמָאֵי. אָמַר: כַּמָּה הַרְפַּתְקֵי עֲדוֹ עֲלַיְיהוּ דְּהָנֵי. רָבָא מֵיקָם לָא קָאֵי, הִידּוּר עָבֵד לְהוּ. Rabbi Yoḥanan himself would stand before Aramean, i. …
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Things Are Not What They “Seam” Kiddushin 32 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
September 14th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph tells us an interesting story about Rav Huna, who wanted to test his son and see how patient and respectful he could be, even when provoked. Rav Huna tore silk garments in front of his son to see if he would get angry. The Gemara asks a number of questions regarding the propriety of this challenge, but we will focus on one particular question and answer. The Gemara asks how it is permitted to tear a garment. Is this not a …
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Unburdened Kiddushin 31 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
October 5th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph recounts the famous story of Dama Ben Nesina, serving as an object lesson for the extent to which one should go to honor one's parents. The rabbis visited Dama to purchase precious gems for the Cohen Gadol's breastplate. Unfortunately, the key to the chest containing the gems was safely tucked under his sleeping father's head. Despite being offered an exorbitant sum, Dama refused to wake his father, apparently believing t …
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Reading Between the Lines Kiddushin 30 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
September 12th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the number of letters in the Torah and reports that the letter vav in the word גחון (Vayikra 11:42) is the midpoint of the Torah in terms of letters, and דרש דרש is the midpoint in terms of words (Vayikra 10:16). Since the word גחון has an even number of letters, the Gemara naturally inquires whether the letter vav belongs to the first half or the second half. Unable to resolve the question, the Ge …
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Going Against the Tide Kiddushin 29 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
September 11th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph enumerates various obligations upon a father toward his son, including teaching him to swim. Rav Elyashiv (Divrei Aggadah, Devarim 14:9) asks, "Why did the rabbis specifically choose swimming when there must be many other hazards and skills to learn? Why not Mathematics to avoid being cheated or Self-defense in case of bandits?" Rav Elyashiv suggests that the Gemara chose swimming because of a double entendre. He explains …
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Nipping Quarrels in the Bud Kiddushin 28 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
September 10th, 2023

In our Gemara on Amud Aleph, there's a crucial warning regarding the consequences of labeling a fellow Jew a "Rasha" (evil person): הָהוּא שַׁמּוֹתֵי מְשַׁמְּתִינַן לֵיהּ! דְּתַנְיָא: הַקּוֹרֵא לַחֲבֵירוֹ…. ״רָשָׁע״ – יוֹרֵד עִמּוֹ לְחַיָּיו! One who calls another a "wicked person" allows the insulted person to harass them in all aspects of l …
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When Will You Trust Me Again? Kiddushin 27 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
September 8th, 2023

In our Gemara on Amud Beis, we delve into the intricate process of "Gilgul Shevua," a unique legal procedure. When a defendant is obligated to make an oath to defend their claim, the plaintiff has the opportunity to levy additional accusations, compelling the defendant to take oaths on those matters as well. Remarkably, this applies even when the subsequent accusations lack substantial legal basis, drawing inspiration from the repetition of "Amen …
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Pinpoint Analysis Kiddushin 26 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
September 8th, 2023

In our Gemara on Amud Aleph, a discussion arises regarding the concept of "kinyan agav karka," which pertains to the acquisition of movable property through the acquisition of land. The question at hand is whether the movable property must physically be present on the parcel of land being acquired: אִיבַּעְיָא לְהוּ: בָּעֵינַן צְבוּרִים, אוֹ לָא? אָמַר רַב יוֹסֵף: תָּא שְׁמַע: רַב …
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Attuned Relationships Kiddushin 25 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
September 7th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph, we encounter an incident involving a group of elders from the city of Nezonya who declined to attend a Shiur (lecture) by Rav Chisda: סָבֵי דְנָזוֹנְיָא לָא אֲתוֹ לְפִירְקֵיהּ דְּרַב חִסְדָּא, אֲמַר לֵיהּ לְרַב הַמְנוּנָא: זִיל צַנְּעִינְהוּ. אֲזַל אֲמַר לְהוּ: מַאי טַעְמָא לָא אֲתוֹ רַבָּנ …
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Trauma Response Kiddushin 24 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
September 6th, 2023

In our Gemara on Amud Aleph, we explore a question regarding the status of a Canaanite slave who sustains injuries inflicted by his master. If these injuries affect an organ such as an eye, tooth, or other limb, the slave is automatically freed. However, the Gemara delves into a nuanced discussion regarding whether an injury to the slave's ear or eye caused by the master making a loud and frightening noise is considered a direct injury, which wou …
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The Messenger is the Message Kiddushin 23 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
September 5th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Beis delves into a recurring question throughout Shas concerning the status of the Cohanim's service in the Temple: When they offer sacrifices, are they acting as our representatives or as agents of God? The Gemara concludes that the Cohanim are indeed acting as agents of God, carrying out His directives (while, of course, one of those directives is to offer sacrifices on our behalf). Bas Ayin (Emor 23) expands on the role of a …
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Misery Loves Company Kiddushin 22 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
September 4th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph teaches us that, although a Jewish slave often has the option to choose to continue his servitude after undergoing the ritual of having his ear pierced, there are certain situations where he will not be allowed to remain a slave under any circumstances. This is because the verse states, "I love my master" (Shemos 21:5), implying a state of relative equivalence and harmony between master and servant. Thus, the Gemara rules …
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Lav at First Sight Kiddushin 21 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
September 3rd, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Beis initiates the discussion on the laws of Eishes Yefas Toar, a woman taken captive during war, and the permissibility of marrying her. Given the intense and primal urges that often emerge during the heat of battle, the Torah, rather than tolerating rampant sexual violence in wartime, outlines specific conditions under which a captive woman may be taken as a wife. The Sages taught: Concerning a captive, the verse states: "And …
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Self Sacrifice vs Self Preservation Kiddushin 20 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
September 1st, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph delves into the profound measures one must undertake to demonstrate respect and dignity towards their own slave: The passage continues: This means that there shall not be a situation in which you eat fine bread and he eats inferior bread [kibbar], bread from coarse flour mixed with bran, which is low quality. There shall not be a situation in which you drink aged wine and he drinks inferior new wine. There shall not be a …
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Why Can’t You Just Move On? Kiddushin 19 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
September 1st, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph addresses the exemption of a minor from capital punishment, even when they are the offender in an adultery case. Tosafos pose the question of why there should even be a debate, since minors are generally exempt from punishments. Tosafos in Arakhin (3a, "Limutei") suggest another line of thought, contemplating whether even a minor should be executed due to "Kalon," which can be translated as "disgrace." What precedent do T …
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Male and Female Archetypes Kiddushin 18 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
August 31st, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Beis engages in a fundamental debate regarding legal biblical exegesis. In the Tanach, Hebrew words are frequently spelled incompletely, accompanied by an oral tradition dictating their pronunciation. At times, the written and spoken forms yield distinct meanings, particularly with homonyms. The crux of the dispute lies in determining the primary source for deriving halakhic meaning. The Talmud employs an idiom to express this: …
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Easy Does It Kiddushin 17 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
August 30th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph employs a proverb, stating, "If you try to grab too much, you will not grasp anything. If you grasp a measured amount, you will succeed in retaining it." This principle holds significant weight in human development and behavior. The inclination to undertake vast projects in a sweeping manner, especially during times of impatience and frustration with moral sentiments, is a common occurrence. However, drastic changes often …
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Don’t Be Nile-istic Kiddushin 16 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
August 29th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph delves into the scenario of a Jew, due to poverty, selling himself as a slave to a gentile. Responsibility falls upon fellow Jewish brethren to redeem him from this spiritually detrimental environment. Tosafos and the Tosafos Harosh debate whether it would be permissible to employ subterfuge and trickery to redeem the Jewish slave if the asking price is unaffordable. In the leaflet "Misaviv Lashulkhan," Rav Elchanan Peret …
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Relatively Free Kiddushin 15 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
August 28th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Beis delves into the status of a Jewish slave redeemed by relatives. Rabbi Yose asserts that upon redemption, the slave gains freedom. In contrast, Rabbi Akiva contends that redemption by relatives results in the slave being bound to serve the relative until his contract ends. Even Rabbi Akiva acknowledges that redemption by a non-relative leads to complete freedom. (One could surmise that the act of charity from an outsider mi …
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Serving With Honor Kiddushin 14 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
August 27th, 2023

Our Mishna on Amud Beis addresses the topic of the Jewish slave, discussing the requirement for a Jewish slave who chooses to extend his servitude beyond the prescribed six years to undergo a ritual that involves piercing his ear. The Gemara later on (22b) elaborates on the significance of this ritual: Rabban Yoḥanan ben Zakkai would expound this verse as a type of decorative wreath [ḥomer], i.e., as an allegory: Why is the ear different from …
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Divorced From Reality Kiddushin 13 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
August 25th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph delves into the qualifications necessary for performing marriages and divorces. Due to their intricate nature and profound impact on the future lineage of multiple families, extra training and caution are required beyond standard Rabbinic expertise. Rav Yehuda, quoting Shmuel, asserts: "Anyone who does not know the nature of bills of divorce and betrothals should have no dealings in them," highlighting the potential for g …
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Difficult Rabbinic Marriages Kiddushin 12 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
August 25th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Beis sheds light on an attempt by Yehudis, the wife of Rav Chiyya, to retroactively annul her marriage through a scheme. Although her plan ultimately failed, her actions raise questions about her circumstances and motivations. Fortunately, other Gemaras provide insight into her life: In Yevamos 65b, we learn that Yehudis had two sets of twins with extremely challenging pregnancies and labors. In fact, she successfully carried o …
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All Parts Make the Whole Kiddushin 11 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
August 24th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph delves into the case of a slave with severe character flaws, such as being a thief or a "kubyostos". One might argue that the buyer is entitled to a refund, but the Gemara maintains that such character defects are common among slaves, making the purchase still valid. The term "kubyostos" is defined by Rashi as a kidnapper, and by Tosafos as a gambler. This derogatory term appears in two other Midrashim: one involving Yaak …
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Rules About Exceptions Kiddushin 10 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
August 23rd, 2023

While no longer practiced and even already forbidden during the time of the Gemara (see 12b), one original method to establish a marriage bond was through sexual intercourse with the intention of consummation. Our Gemara on Amud Aleph delves into this process and examines when exactly the marriage bond is formed: A question was posed to the Sages: Does the initiation of intercourse effect acquisition, or is it the completion of intercourse that e …
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Dates Before Marriage Kiddushin 9 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
August 22nd, 2023

In our Gemara on Amud Aleph, various scenarios are discussed where a man proposes marriage in a playful manner, leading to uncertainty about the woman's consent: "There was a certain man who was picking dates from a date tree. A certain woman came and said to him: 'Throw me two.' He said to her: 'If I throw two dates to you, will you be betrothed to me with them?' She said to him: 'Throw, throw.' Rav Zevid said: Any use of the expression: 'Throw, …
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Disorders and Fate Kiddushin 8 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
August 21st, 2023

In our Gemara on Amud Aleph, Rav Kahana is mentioned and regarded as a "great man," emphasizing his practice of wearing a head covering. This practice reflects a broader discussion about the significance of head covering in Jewish tradition. A well-known Gemara in Shabbos (156b) touches on this topic: "From Rav Naḥman bar Yitzḥak it can also be derived that there is no Mazal (astrological influence) for the Jewish people. Chaldean astrologers …
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Giving is Receiving Kiddushin 7 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
August 21st, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph presents a novel perspective on the bond of marriage through the exchange of an object of value. Conventionally, marriage involves the groom giving an object of value to the bride with her consent. However, our Gemara introduces an unconventional scenario where, surprisingly, if the woman gives something, it is as if she is the one receiving. Specifically, if she bestows a gift upon a dignitary, someone whose acceptance o …
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High Fidelity Kiddushin 6 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
August 18th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph raises a question about a grouping of similar items in a beraisa. There are six cases in total, and they are mostly similar. Yet, interestingly, they are divided into two sets of three cases:   תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן: ״הֲרֵי אַתְּ אִשְׁתִּי״, ״הֲרֵי אַתְּ אֲרוּסָתִי״, ״הֲרֵי אַתְּ קְנוּיָה לִי״ – מְקוּדֶּשֶׁת. ״הֲרֵי אַ …
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