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All In a Day’s Work Nazir 7 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
January 30th, 2023

Our General on Amud Aleph references the halakhic definition of a day, which is the day behind the prior night. This is learned from verses in Bereishis, “It was evening, it was morning.” Therefore, most Jewish practices that begin or end on a certain day, start the evening before. As of course, Shabbos and Yom Tov begin on the evening before. A notable exception to this rule is for counting days of validity for eating the meat of a s …
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Back to the Future Nazir 6 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
January 29th, 2023

  Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the challenge of the Nazir who unfortunately becomes exposed to a corpse.  The verse seems to indicate that he must start his counting all over again.  So whatever time he pledged to become a Nazir must now be repeated after he undergoes a purification process. The verse states (Bamidbar 6:12): וְהַיָּמִ֤ים הָרִאשֹׁנִים֙ יִפְּל֔וּ כִּ֥י טָמֵ֖א נִזְ …
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Don't Be So Humble - You Are Not That Great Nazir 5 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
January 27th, 2023

(Quote from Golda Meir) There is a humorous story about an up and coming student who attended one the great mussar yeshivos in Europe.  In this yeshiva, there was an attic where the more pious would meditate on their state of smallness in the world.  Of course, one did not have the temerity to THINK that he is so big, as to attempt to become so small. By some kind of unwritten pecking order, only certain people dared to enter that upper …
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Paradise Lost Nazir 4 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
January 27th, 2023

Our Gemara on amud aleph seems to indicate that Kiddush with wine is part of the Deoraysa (Biblical) mitzvah of declaring Shabbos, and not merely a rabbinic requirement.  Therefore, it may be that one would not be able to fulfill the Biblical obligation of Kiddush Friday night without wine (although this is subject to debate, compare the mefaresh “Harey Mushba”, 4b with Tosafos. Also see Rabbenu Tam, Sefer Hayashar 62.) If we are …
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In the End, It’s Just a Matter of Time Nazir 3 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
January 26th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Beis quotes a verse in Daniel (22:17): וָאֶשְׁמַ֞ע אֶת־הָאִ֣ישׁ ׀ לְב֣וּשׁ הַבַּדִּ֗ים אֲשֶׁ֣ר מִמַּ֘עַל֮ לְמֵימֵ֣י הַיְאֹר֒ וַיָּ֨רֶם יְמִינ֤וֹ וּשְׂמֹאלוֹ֙ אֶל־הַשָּׁמַ֔יִם וַיִּשָּׁבַ֖ע בְּחֵ֣י הָעוֹלָ֑ם כִּי֩ לְמוֹעֵ֨ד מֽוֹעֲדִ֜ים וָחֵ֗צ …
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When You Point a Finger, Three Other Fingers Point Back at You Nazir 2 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
January 25th, 2023

We have discussed many times in Psychology of the Daf (see Nedarim 78), Chazal were ambivalent about pious declarations of abstention, such as the vows of the Nazirite, and as the Gemara on daf 4b explains in regard to Shimon Hatzaddik’s suspicion regarding the sincerity of Nazirite vows. Yet, with proper intention and maturity to handle this period of abnegation, it can be a catalyst for humility and change. Our Gemara on Amud Aleph tells …
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Reviving a Dead Sex Life Nedarim 91 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
January 24th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Beis relates a true story and interesting quandary for an accused adulterer.  This fellow heard the husband approaching the house and hid behind the door.  From his vantage point, he noticed a snake had deposited its venom on some vegetables.  When the husband was about to eat, he called out to him to save his life, but also blew his cover.  The Gemara wonders, is his honesty a sign that he did not commit ad …
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Golems, Pedagogy and Sex Robots Nedarim 90 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
January 23rd, 2023

  Our Gemara on Amud Aleph quotes a verse in Yeshaiyahu 24:23 describing the cosmic changes of the Messianic era: וְחָֽפְרָה֙ הַלְּבָנָ֔ה וּבוֹשָׁ֖ה הַחַמָּ֑ה כִּֽי־מָלַ֞ךְ ה׳ צבקות בְּהַ֤ר צִיּוֹן֙ וּבִיר֣וּשָׁלַ֔͏ִם וְנֶ֥גֶד זְקֵנָ֖יו כָּבֽוֹד Then the moon shall be ashamed, And the sun shall be abashed. For the LORD of Ho …
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Knocking on the Wrong Door Nedarim 89 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
January 22nd, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Beis relates a story of a person who was impetuously determined to study Torah.  In fact, he made a vow that if he married before he “learns the halachos”, he would be forbidden to benefit from anything in the world.  It is a matter of debate what he meant by “learning halachos”.  Some of the commentaries are vague, though it does seem that it means mastery of the known body of practical t …
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Speaking With a Unified Voice Nedarim 88 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
January 20th, 2023

The Ran on Amud Beis discusses the status of possessions of a married woman.  Since there is a nuptial agreement that the husband support his wife financially, in exchange for that, she agrees that her earnings become his property. What if someone gifts to the woman something with a stipulation that it not be transferable to her husband?  Is this condition valid?  The Ran proves that this condition is accepted as the halakhic norm …
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Silent Scream Nedarim 87 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
January 20th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses more about Toch Kedei Dibur, that is a parcel of time that it takes to state, “Peace onto you, my master and teacher.”  As we learned in Psychology of the Daf Nedarim 69, there are many halakhic distinctions that arise from this measure of time, mostly having to do with being allowed to renege or retract statements, conditions and agreements within this small time frame.  Many commentaries …
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God Respects the Autonomy of Our Thoughts Nedarim 86 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
January 19th, 2023

Our Gemara and Mishna on Amud Beis discusses a case of how annulment cannot work in a situation of mistaken identity: מַתְנִי׳ נָדְרָה אִשְׁתּוֹ וְסָבוּר שֶׁנָּדְרָה בִּתּוֹ נָדְרָה בִּתּוֹ וְסָבוּר שֶׁנָּדְרָה אִשְׁתּוֹ …הֲרֵי זֶה יַחְזוֹר וְיָפֵר: MISHNA: If a man’s wife took a vow and he thought that it was his daught …
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Does the Mouse Steal, or Does the Hole Steal? Nedarim 85 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
January 18th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph explains that when untithed produce is stolen and eaten, the thief technically should not have to pay for the portion which would be tithed since the only value available to the owner was the portion that remains non-sacred. However, Rabbi Yehuda Hanasi and Rabbi Yose son of Rabbi Yehuda disagree about the legal response. Rabbi Yehuda Hanasi holds that we fine the thief an additional payment of the sacred portion too, in …
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Talent on Loan From God Nedarim 84 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
January 17th, 2023

The late conservative talk show host, Rush Limbaugh, used to open his show with the tagline, “Talent on Loan from God”.  Whatever your opinion about his politics or character, the idea that talent is on loan from God was a brilliant and humble statement. Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the concept of “Tovas Hana’ah”, which is the benefit of control and assignment that exists for certain forms of Kodesh and Tze …
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The Denial of Death Nedarim 83 Psychology of the Daf
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
January 16th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Beis quotes a verse from Koheles (7:2) as a proof text that the loss of ability to attend a funeral is considered a form of suffering: ט֞וֹב לָלֶ֣כֶת אֶל־בֵּֽית־אֵ֗בֶל מִלֶּ֙כֶת֙ אֶל־בֵּ֣ית מִשְׁתֶּ֔ה בַּאֲשֶׁ֕ר ה֖וּא ס֣וֹף כׇּל־הָאָדָ֑ם וְהַחַ֖י יִתֵּ֥ן אֶל־לִבּֽוֹ׃ It is better to go to a house of mourning t …
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Gender Disparities in Experience of Sexual Deprivation Nedarim 82 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
January 15th, 2023

Our Gemara on the bottom of 81b to 82a discusses if a vow to abstain from sexuality constitutes a vow of עינוי נפש personal affliction, or categorized as a vow of matters between husband and wife. The halakhic nafka mina (practical outcome) has to do if the vow will remain in effect subsequent to termination of the marriage. The halakha is that vows of personal affliction, when annulled by the husband, are permanently removed. On the othe …
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The Clothes Make the Man Nedarim 81 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
January 13th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph mentions various illnesses that befall a person who does not keep parts of his body or his clothes clean. Some of it seems to be psychological in origin, that is that it induces a sense of disorder, and possibly even mental illness. It is common sense to assume that one’s mode of dress influences their attitude, for better or for worse. What does the research say about this? We have the general psychological and cog …
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Pledging During a Crisis Nedarim 80 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
January 13th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses a concept that we have seen many times throughout Nedarim, namely, that vows are generally considered actions of the non-righteous. They are more often, impulsive, angry acts that do not represent the person's spiritual standing or ability to consistently follow the demands of the extra extension. This is why there is a phrase נדרי רשעים the oaths of the wicked, because generally speaking, they are not c …
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Teach Them a Lesson Nedarim 79 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
January 12th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses a scenario where a husband affirms his wife's vow with spiteful intention, while in his heart still intending to annul it. The phrase the Gemara uses is “להקניט” which I think we could fairly translate as “to engage in quarrel, or to provoke”. The best word might be “incite”, which does bear homophonic similarity, but I have not been able to find an etymological link. Th …
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Is it not Enough What the Torah Has Forbidden You? Nedarim 78 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
January 11th, 2023

Continuing yesterday’s theme, ״this is the word” “זה הדבר״ means utter clarity and being synonymous with God’s will, we find a Peri Tzaddik (Mattos 1:1) that applies this understanding to the use of this phrase, which introduces the Torah’s section on nedarim. (Bamidbar 30:2 וַיְדַבֵּ֤ר מֹשֶׁה֙ אֶל־רָאשֵׁ֣י הַמַּטּ֔וֹת לִבְנֵ֥י יִשְׂרָאֵ֖ל לֵאמֹ …
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Ding an Sich Nedarim 77 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
January 10th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Beis references a particular phrase used in the Torah, “זה הדבר” “ this is the word“, or possibly, “this is the thing“. When the Torah uses a phrase like that, it implies a kind of specificity that is used for various derashos. Rashi (Bamidbar 30:2) quotes a Sifrei that discusses this terminology and how it applies to the prophecy of Moshe: זה הדבר. מֹשֶׁה נִתְנַבֵּ …
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Innocent Until Improved Guilty Nedarim 76 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
January 9th, 2023

Continuing our discussion of the Kal V’chomer discussed on the previous daf, the Rosh (“אינו דין”) discusses the following scenario: A person, while fully immersed in the Mikvah, touches a dead sheretz (a number of crawling animals that the Torah considers impure when dead), and then while still holding the sheretz, touches a vessel.  There is a debate amongst poskim as to what point of the immersion process sheds th …
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No Offense, But…Nedarim 75 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
January 8th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses a dispute between Rabbi Eliezer and the sages regarding if a husband can preemptively nullify a vow in advance.  Rabbi Eliezer argues (I am skipping some lomdishe details) via kal v’chomer that if a person can annul an existing vow, certainly he has the ability to annul a vow before it even starts.  However, the sages refute this kal v’chomer with the following observation:  Although on …
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Understudy and Understood Nedarim 74 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
January 6th, 2023

In our Gemara on amud beis, after hearing a particularly insightful piece of Torah from Rabbi Akiva, Ben Azai laments, “Woe to Ben Azzai, who did not serve under Rabbi Akiva.”  Meaning, he had opportunity to learn more from Rabbi Akiva if he would have become his assistant or shamess. Torah consists of practical wisdom, and certain matters cannot be learned in a shiur but must be seen and experienced live. This idea is critical, …
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The Company You Keep Nedarim 73 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
January 6th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses a scenario of wo women who are accused of infidelity and are required based on the evidence to go through the Sotah trial and ordeal in order to either prove innocence or encourage confession. These women do not undergo the ordeal together, as one person’s resolve might give the other inappropriate courage. Rashi (Sotah 8a) explains that if one of the women honestly did not commit adultery and therefore su …
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Don’t Bring Baggage into the Marriage Nedarim 72 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
January 5th, 2023

Our Mishna on amud beis tells us: מַתְנִי׳ דֶּרֶךְ תַּלְמִידֵי חֲכָמִים, עַד שֶׁלֹּא הָיְתָה בִּתּוֹ יוֹצְאָה מֵאֶצְלוֹ, אוֹמֵר לָהּ: כׇּל נְדָרִים שֶׁנָּדַרְתְּ בְּתוֹךְ בֵּיתִי — הֲרֵי הֵן מוּפָרִין. וְכֵן הַבַּעַל, עַד שֶׁלֹּא תִּכָּנֵס לִרְשׁוּתוֹ, אוֹ …
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Married to Your Parents Nedarim 71 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
January 4th, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Beis (as well as 68a) references the dispute between the House of Shammai and the House of Hillel, what actually happens when a husband nullifies his part of the vow, when there is a requirement that he do it jointly with the father (such as a na’arah who is an arusa).  The lomdishe question is, does the husband cut the vow precisely in half (meygaz gayyaz), that is his share of the vow is broken, or does he weaken t …
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Written Correspondence Nedarim 70 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
January 3rd, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph quotes a verse in Bamidbar (30:7-8): וְאִם־הָי֤וֹ תִֽהְיֶה֙ לְאִ֔ישׁ וּנְדָרֶ֖יהָ עָלֶ֑יהָ א֚וֹ מִבְטָ֣א שְׂפָתֶ֔יהָ אֲשֶׁ֥ר אָסְרָ֖ה עַל־נַפְשָֽׁהּ׃  If she should become someone’s [wife] while her vow or the commitment commitment Lit. “utterance of her lips.” to which she bound herself is sti …
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Can You Take Back What You Say? Nedarim 69 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
January 2nd, 2023

Don’t you wish you had a relationship rewind button?  Wouldn't it be nice if after we said something stupid or hurtful, we can just delete it?  No long tortured apologies, just, “Oops, I should not have said that, please strike it from the record!” Our Gemara on this Daf discusses various permutations of the father’s and/or husband’s ability to annul the young daughter’s, or wife’s, vow.  O …
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Wine and Romance Nedarim 68 Psychology of the Daf
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
January 1st, 2023

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the husband’s right to annul a vow made by his wife, in regard to matters that will affect their personal relationship. Sometimes, we are able to get an indirect glimpse at various values, ethics and morals that Chazal endorsed by studying certain halachos. In this vein, I will discuss the idea of a wife drinking alcohol with her husband as a way to enhance romance and good experiences. There is no shortag …
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The Power of Prayer and Torah Together Nedarim 67 Psychology of the Daf
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
December 30th, 2022

On this daf we begin to learn about the relationship between husband and wife, father and daughter, in their ability to sometimes jointly, and sometimes individually, annul vows. A single Na’arah who makes a vow can have it annulled by her fathers say so on the day that he hears about it. If she is an arusa (married via kiddushin but not nisuin, that is not living together as husband and wife and still in her father’s house), the husb …
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Stay Calm, and Don’t Jump to Conclusions Nedarim 66 Psychology of the Daf
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
December 30th, 2022

Our Gemara on Amud Beis tells us about the Palestinian version of “Amelia Bedelia”: She was a simple but devout woman, and had difficulty comprehending the difference between her husband’s dialect and hers, leading to numerous frustrating encounters. Her husband would make a seemingly simple request, and she would misunderstand his words and give him something else to his great annoyance. Perhaps, she was what we would say today …
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Traumatic Coping Styles Nedarim 65 Psychology of the Daf
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
December 29th, 2022

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph tells us the story of how king Tzidkiyahu witnessed Nebuchadnezzar eating a live rabbit. Though he was a cruel despot, apparently, he had his limits and was embarrassed. He therefore made Tzidkiyahu swear that he would not tell of this to anyone else. The secret was too difficult for Tzidkiyahu to bear, and he had his vow annulled by the sages. When Nebuchadnezzar found out, there was not a very happy ending for the sages …
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Truth in Prayer Nedarim 64 Psychology of the Daf
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
December 28th, 2022

Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses Hashem telling Moshe that he now can return to Egypt, as “Those who have been seeking to kill you are now dead.” Moshe was a wanted man with his picture hanging in the Pitom and Ramses post office, for killing the Egyptian, so this was good news. Moshe had two sons in Midian, Gershom and Eliezer. Gershom named, Ger-Shom, meaning I was a stranger there. And Eliezer, Keyli-Ezri, my God saved me from the …
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An Extra Helping of the Delights of Shabbos Nedarim 63 Psychology of the Daf
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
December 27th, 2022

Our Gemara discusses the ancient Jewish custom of eating garlic Friday night in order to enhance fertility, as it is a Mitzvah Friday night in particular to be intimate (See Ritva). By the way, there is corroborating scientific evidence that Garlic positively affects virility, and in particular cooked garlic. (See Bahrami KH, Mahjor AA, Johary H, Bahrami R, Bahrami A. Comparative study on histopatological and histomorphometric effect of raw and c …
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History, or His Story? Nedarim 62 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
December 26th, 2022

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph tells us a harrowing story about Rabbi Tarfon, and how he was mistaken for a thief. In the end, he was released, but only because his captor found out he was the revered Rabbi Tarfon. This itself caused Rabbi Tarfon distress because he derived personal benefit from the crown of the Torah: רַבִּי טַרְפוֹן אַשְׁכְּחֵיהּ הָהוּא גַּבְרָא בִּזְמַן שֶׁהוּקְפְּלוּ ה …
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Terms and Conditions May Apply Nedarim 61 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
December 25th, 2022

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the dispute between Rabbi Yehuda and the Rabbis about if the Yovel Year is part of the next Shemitta Cycle (year one of seven). The rabbis hold that the Yovel year, in a certain sense, is outside of the counting. It is the 50th year but not part of the new cycle.  The Maharal notes in Nesiv HaTorah (1) that there are three mitzvos that have a man made sanctification: (1) Terumos and Maasros (2) Hafrashas Ch …
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The Chovos Halevavos and SSRI’s Nedarim 60 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
December 23rd, 2022

Shittah Mekubetzes on Amud Aleph remarks that the Mishna often discusses people who vow against drinking wine because drunkenness brings sorrow and regret. He is paraphrasing a Gemara (Yoma 76b) וְאַמַּאי קָרֵי לֵיהּ יַיִן, וְאַמַּאי קָרֵי לֵיהּ תִּירוֹשׁ? יַיִן — שֶׁמֵּבִיא יְלָלָה לְעוֹלָם. תִּירוֹשׁ — שֶׁכׇּל הַמִּתְגָּרֶה …
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Altar Ego Nedarim 59 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
December 23rd, 2022

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph quotes the warning of Rav Nosson: Anyone who vows, it is as if he built a personal altar outside the Temple, and one who fulfills that vow, it is as though he burns an offering upon it The language is notable as there are two stages. First, the person impetuously makes an ill-advised vow. However, he’s not yet in such hot water. He can reverse course and humbly seek nullification from a sage. At this point he only b …
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Kosher Pig? Nedarim 58 Psychology of the Daf Yomi
Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R
December 22nd, 2022

Our Gemara on this Daf discusses the halachos of a דבר שיש לו מתירין an item that will eventually become permitted. When such material becomes diluted in a large mixture, many opinions hold that it cannot be nullified. There are different explanations for why this is so, but the simplest being that why rely on a leniency of nullification when anyways it will be permitted? There is a Midrashic tradition that in the Messianic future, …
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