Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum

January 8th, 2019

Sexual relations are considered to be a meaningful aspect of Jewish marriage. Sex is a positive commandment for procreation, and it is considered  a negative commandment for a man to withhold his wife's "onah", understood to mean, her entitlement to sex. (שְׁאֵרָהּ כְּסוּתָהּ וְעֹנָתָהּ לֹא יִגְרָע" (שמות, כ"א, י' Food, clothing and sex, he should not withhold from her A woman is expected to …
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Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum

December 20th, 2018

I recently received the following question from a therapist:   “Is there a norm as to how often religious couples should engage in sex?  The question comes specifically from a woman who has reached menopause and is no longer a niddah. Husband wants often, she prefers less frequently, but wants to be a “good wife”.   My answer was as follows:   The standard answer to this question is that there is no dete …
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Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum

December 11th, 2018

  Tamar and Avi are an American couple in their late thirties who made aliya to Israel two years ago with their four children.  They presented to couple therapy in distress. They reported that they argued frequently about their children, their in-laws, household tasks and money. Tamar said she felt that Avi took her for granted and had no idea what her life was like.  Avi complained, “We hardly ever have sex.” After a m …
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Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum

December 6th, 2018

  In the Talmud, (Nedarim 20a-b) Rabbi Yochanan Ben Dabai provides some advice about marital sex that he received from ministering angels. Children are born lame, he relates, because, the parents  "turned the table upside down" for intercourse. They are born mute because of kissing 'that place' (the genitals),  are born deaf because the parents spoke during intercourse, and are born blind due to the man looking at his wif …
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Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum

November 7th, 2018

    In his recent analysis of the “#MeToo earthquake,” Rabbi Avi Shafran, Agudath Israel of America’s director of public affairs, bemoans the “supposedly enlightened, progressive, post-patriarchal society, with its proud claim to value and respect women,” and questions how we can expect men to respect women who dress and behave immodestly. In contrast, he asserts that sexual abuse is “relatively rare& …
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Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum

October 9th, 2018

Many couples await the wedding night with anticipation and excitement, as they are finally permitted to express their desire for one another and to consummate their relationship.  For some couples, however, the wedding night, and sometimes the weeks and months thereafter, can be a source of anxiety and distress, and represents an obligation they struggle to “perform successfully.” How do couples negotiate the transition from abst …
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Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum

September 13th, 2018

  Intimate Judaism’s most recent episode, ‘Shomer Negiah: Premarital Sexual Activity and Jewish Values,” generated plenty of comments, discussion, and disagreement. In this bonus episode, Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn address listener comments, and expand on the differences between guilt and shame, whether a person “has to” consult a rabbi before making a Halachic decision, the consequences of non-Halachi …
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Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum

August 28th, 2018

As human beings, we are wired for connection. When we connect emotionally with a member of the opposite sex, and experience attraction, and/or affection, the desire for intimate touch is a natural instinct. In society at large, this desire is understood to be moderated by social rules that include determining availability, and mutual consent and should include communication about boundaries and prevention of pregnancy when applicable. According t …
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Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum

August 7th, 2018

 How do we give our kids the right message so that they will be able to experience intimacy in marriage?. What is the connection between growing up in a safe and secure environment, and the ability to experience pleasure in the context of marital intimacy? Why is it necessary to avoid judging our children, even when we disagree with their decisions? What do we mean when we try to teach them about intimacy? And how can our relationship with G …
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Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum

August 7th, 2018

Parents who are part of the Halachic community must balance the messages children hear from the outside world with the Torah values they are taught at home and in school. How can we achieve this balance so that our kids respect the Halachic attitudes toward sex, while also growing into sexually healthy adults? Is there a way to use media in order to educate? How does our use of language convey appropriate or inappropriate messages? Join Talli Ros …
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