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Hi everyone!
It’s a miracle! Who doesn’t want to feel the happiness that can gush forth when something unexpected, miraculous even, occurs. Wining the lottery, surviving an ordeal, acing an exam, these are things that we can imagine. It doesn’t take much for us to imagine how we would feel if we suddenly had boatloads of money. Yet, many couples have never given thought about how their lives would look if all their marital problems were solved. Enter the miracle question. Ask the couple what it would be like if tomorrow morning you woke up and a miracle happened, God solved your issues. How would you know that this occurred? How would things be different? Imagining this helps the two partners begin to think about where they would like to end up. It helps them pinpoint their concerns and can help guide the direction of the work. Once the couple’s issues and goals are fleshed out, the therapy can truly begin. An archer will not hit the target if he/she did not take the time to see it beforehand. Taking the time to set goals from the outset can prevent aimless wondering. Why search for a needle in a haystack when there are people in the room who know where the needle is! That is why the miracle question can be so helpful when working with couples (or individual clients for that matter).