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Esther would frequently arrive at meetings between five and ten minutes late. It was tolerated due to her high level of talent, affable personality, and great work ethic, but she was getting the feeling that it wouldn’t be for much longer.
Moshe had a habit of making big plans for Sunday afternoons - family time, home repairs, hobbies, and more - on the same day. When less than half of this would be accomplished, he felt like a failure. This happened frequently.
Ari was a skilled entrepreneur who was self-employed. Unfortunately, some days he was overwhelmed by a large number of small, tedious tasks. Procrastination would ensue, leading to an aggravatingly unproductive day.
To many individuals with ADHD, time management can be a particularly aggravating Achilles’ heel. Time required to complete tasks is grossly underestimated, chance distractions send people down rabbit holes consuming large chunks of time, and the absorption in these tasks leads people to completely lose track of time. This naturally leads to irritating latenesses and missed appointments that frustrate people at home and in the workplace.
Upon hearing individuals who struggle with this challenge of ADHD express their frustrations, well-meaning friends, managers, and co-workers will commonly respond with an unpleasant sounding suggestion:
“Why don’t you try using a planner?”
The simplicity of the question isn’t offensive. After all, not everyone does, and it is a pretty useful tool. Nevertheless, it can be a frustrating question for many to hear. This is because they have tried several times, and it never seemed to work. The chaos that precipitated the need for it is now compounded by a sense a failure. One they have unfortunately felt before.
The strategy sounds so simple. So what keeps getting in the way? For my clients, it is - of course - their ADHD. There are a number of ways that ADHD can impact one’s ability to use a planner. And this list will not be an exhaustive one:
When to fill in the planner: Appointments, plans, tasks, and everything else one may need to schedule don’t all come into existence at the same time. Keeping track of the planner to be able to write in it as items become necessary to schedule can be the first obvious challenge of using a planner.
How to fill in the planner: A task entitled “take care of taxes,” “marketing project,” or “resume” may be helpful to some people, but for individuals with ADHD this is unlikely. The ADHD brain struggles with executive function. As a result of this, a task whose steps are unclear tends to lead the brain to either feel overwhelmed, or simply to tune out. YouTube is a much easier place to be…
Making sure to check the planner: If all of the day’s tasks and appointments are in the planner, but one doesn’t check it to follow their intended schedule, it won’t be helpful. This is likely to happen if the layout of the pages is cramped or in some other way not easy to scan with a quick glance, if one has forgotten where they have placed it, or if one simply forgets to check it - a likely possibility for anyone beginning a new habit, and exacerbated by the executive function challenges of ADHD. The same is true of a virtual calendar or planner. If it takes many clicks to find it, or the layout is cumbersome, it will likely remain in the owner’s pocket.
Keeping track of the planner’s location: Executive Function challenges can cause individuals with ADHD to be much more likely to lose items to which they would prefer regular access. Common examples of this include reading glasses, wallets, and cellphones. A planner runs the risk of joining the list.
There is, however, good news. Thoughtful planning and strategizing can help a person address these aforementioned challenges. Although there is no “one size fits all” solution, general guidelines can be suggested that one can tweak to suit their unique personality, interests, and challenges. Discussing the best way to implement them with a friend, coach, or mentor can be a particularly helpful method to develop the best solution. This is especially true if there are regular follow ups, which create a sense of responsibility and accountability.
Important note: A physical planner tends to be better for the brain (the physical act of writing contributes to memory). Therefore, if all else is basically equal it is more recommended. However, it is far more important to use a planner that one will find interesting and user friendly. Therefore, if one much prefers a virtual planner, then that is what they should use.
TIP #1: Get a planner that you like. The ADHD brain is drawn to stimulation, novelty, and excitement. Although a new planner is only a new toy for a little bit - even if one is particularly fond of its design, etc. - the short lived interest in it can be a helpful tool in beginning a new routine.
TIP #2: Get a planner that you find easy to use. Planners with many categories, small sections, small letters, or the need to turn pages frequently can be strenuous on one’s eyes or feel like somewhat of an inconvenience to use. The more hassle is involved in using the planner, the less likely one is to do so. This applies to the layout and interface of a virtual planner as well. The ability to see a whole week on two pages when the planner is open tends to be the happy medium, but different individuals may have different preferences.
TIP #3: Keep the planner out, accessible, and open. The need to do something as simple as taking the planner out of a drawer and/or opening it can feel like a chore for the ADHD brain (or anyone else, for that matter). The same can be said for a virtual planner. If it requires several swipes or clicks to find, it may be too far away (figuratively speaking). One less action needed to access it can be the difference between actually filling it in and intending to fill it in “later” but probably not doing so. It can also be the difference between checking it and relying on one’s memory (a very mediocre strategy at best).
TIP #4: Keep it in the same place. In addition to being out, keeping it in the same place constantly prevents it (or mostly prevents it) from getting lost. There is never a need to look for it or wonder where it is.
This becomes problematic if one is using a physical planner and scheduling items in different locations, such as at home and at work. If the need arises, it may even be worthwhile to have two planners - one that doesn’t budge at home, and one that doesn’t budge at work. If this sounds daunting, then start off with one planner in the place of greater need. After that one becomes an established routine the second one can be added.
Another challenge that this raises is how to fill it in when one is not near it. A request that one sees in an email on the way to work may be forgotten by the time one has arrived at their desk. A solution to this can be having a small pad or using one’s phone to jot down tasks as they come up. A routine would then need to be added involving checking this pad on arrival at the office or home daily.
TIP #5: Use it for everything. Putting in anything and everything that needs to get done can take the pressure off of one’s brain to remember it, leading to appreciably less anxiety about what one might have forgotten. This can even apply to daily routines such as wake up time, bedtime, exercise, and - of course- filling out the planner.
TIP #6: Small, discreet tasks. ADHD and Productivity Coach Lynn Edris, in a talk entitled “Push Past Procrastination,” identifies three primary causes of procrastination: the task is too long, too boring, or too nebulous. A task entitled “Work on new project” is too vague. The ADHD brain is likely to be overwhelmed by a wave of thoughts, ideas, steps and details through the use of such an undefined title, likely leading to procrastination.
These issues can be addressed by breaking down a given task or project in to smaller, more manageable components. The size to which they should be broken down has one simple rule: it needs to be small enough that it no longer looks daunting, ie. one will do it. This may even mean breaking down something as simple as making a phone call to the smaller steps of obtaining the relevant phone number, taking a few minutes to plan what needs to be said, and then making the actual call.
Tip #7: Check off completed tasks. Seeing a task checked off as having been done creates a sense of achievement. This is likely to motivate a person to continue to follow their planned schedule. This is especially true in for individuals with ADHD. This is because the ADHD brain is deficient in dopamine. This feeling of achievement may provide some needed dopamine.
This effect can be so valuable that it is even worth doing after the fact. What this means is that if a task arose that was unexpected - and was therefore not written in the planner - and one completed that task, it is worthwhile to write in the task and check it off entirely after it was completed. This is because looking at the completed task creates a sense of accomplishment, which generates motivation to achieve even more. Additionally, it enables a person to look at their planner and account for how their time was spent that day. This can be very useful for individuals with ADHD, who frequently lose track of how time was spent. Instead of feeling guilty when they think that the day went by and so little was accomplished, this provides the true realization of how much they achieved.
Rabbi Shmuel Reich AAPC is an ADHD life coach in private practice in Monsey, NY (remote coaching also available) as well as a rebbi in Yeshivas Ohr Reuven in Suffern, NY. He can be reached for coaching of individuals or couples, as well as for speaking or writing engagements, at rsreichadhdcoach@gmail.com or 646-262-8257.