Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the halacha of an accidental immersion of a woman in the Mikvah without intent. One opinion holds that she is permitted to have relations but she still remains forbidden to eat Terumah and other holy foods.

However, Rava raised a logical objection to this. If we rely on this immersion to permit her from being Niddah, which carries a severe penalty of kares, surely it should permit Terumah, which carries a less severe punishment.

This is taken as a strong argument; however, the Rishonim raise a question because, in point of fact, there are other instances where the Niddah status is treated as less severe than the Terumah purity status. For example, the first Mishna in Niddah rules that if a woman sees a blood stain of color and quantity that would render her a Niddah, the assumption is it happened now, and not earlier, (despite it being a stain that could have happened from a discharge a day earlier.) Yet, when it comes to purity for Terumah there is a retroactive look back period. So here we are more lenient by Niddah and more strict by Terumah. The Ramban answers, technically we should have been strict by Niddah too. But if we make the impurity retroactive, it would lead to excessive fear about her becoming Niddah, and the anxiety could interfere with normal marital relations.

While the Gemara had no clinical name for this, nor did they assign it as pathology, they were identifying a pattern of human behavior: When the stakes are high (such as heaven or hell), there is a tendency to obsess, fear, check, and double check. The rabbis were sensitive to the impact that such overscrupulousity could have on a relationship and tried to mitigate triggers.

Religious overscrupulosity can manifest as a subset of obsessive compulsive behaviors. If such a condition is OCD, it should be treated as such and there are evidenced based practices and clinicians that specialize in that area.

There is a specific aspect that I would like to address because well-meaning family members and rabbonim can fall into a trap. “Symptom Accommodation” is the clinical term for efforts to comfort or reassure the concern or the obsession. “Don’t worry, it’s not a problem. I’m telling you it’s fine, etc.”

Ordinarily, this is a kind and human thing to do, in this case, it feeds the central challenge of obsessional thinking. Often, there is an unrealistic need for certainty. The obsessor worries about something that could happen, and that’s true, it’s that they’re not able to take perspective and manage the risks associated with it and the downside. Part of the treatment involves learning how to accept uncertainty and to bear the anxiety and the pain. It may sound strange, but it is true. We all worry that we might commit a sin and burn in hell. There’s no reassurance. There is caution, conservative and careful approaches, but there’s no reassurance.

Research consistently demonstrates that symptom accommodation is associated with increased symptom severity. Instead of decreasing distress, doing what comes naturally to comfort someone inadvertently strengthens their disorder.

Symptom accommodation also tends to escalate over time. What seems like a small and easy adjustment to make at first (e.g., providing a guarantee), evolves into more elaborate and difficult accommodations (e.g., longer and more involved reassurances and psakim according to rigid rules, frustrating and seemingly unending conversations.) (International OCD Foundation https://iocdf.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Clergy-Packet.pdf)

Here is what can be helpful to say:

Your anxiety says:

“If I check one more time, I will finally feel calm.”

But experience teaches: The calm never lasts — the mind simply finds a new detail.”

Chazal, in their wisdom, built boundaries of time, repetition, and sufficiency into the halachos themselves precisely to protect from this spiral. The requirements are not to create a guarantee; rather they are to show respect and due diligence. After that, “the Torah was not given to ministering angels.” (This is a bona fide halachic principle; there are limits to how much checking is required. See the following blog post on this topic: “Not Angels Not Anxious Menachos 23 Psychology of the Daf.”)

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Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation

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Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R, LMFT, DHL is a psychotherapist who works with high conflict couples and families. He can be reached via email at simchafeuerman@gmail.com