Daf Yomi, Marriage Counseling, Psychotherapy, Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, Torah and Psychology
Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the mitzvah of sending away the mother bird before taking the chicks or eggs. One of the features of this halacha is that it cannot be from a nest that is readily available in one’s home; rather, it must be ownerless. This is derived from the verse (Devarim 22:6): “If a bird’s nest happens before you on the way,” implying that it is a random occurrence, not under your control.
Mei Shiloach (ibid.) sees a metaphorical message in these verses. The mother bird, a winged creature, represents the soul as it hovers above the nest, which is the body. Ordinarily, a Jew is not allowed to give up his life for a mitzvah (aside from idolatry, murder, and sexual immorality). Yet in history there have been role models who martyred themselves for smaller matters. Mei Shiloach refers to Mordechai, who could have bowed to Haman, as it was an honorific custom and not technically idolatry (Megillah 13a), and Rabbi Akiva, who martyred himself merely for a rabbinic law of washing hands (Eruvin 21b). In modern times, there are numerous stories about the Klausenberger Rebbe, who refused to compromise on the smallest halachos while in the concentration camps—for example, refusing non-kosher food when his life was obviously in extreme danger, although encouraging others to guard their health. Mei Shiloach says the reason for this is that every Jew has a particular mitzvah which is rooted in his soul. When he feels that connection, it is impossible for him to violate that commandment, no matter what. It is its own form of life and death.
This is what is hinted at in the verse. Sometimes one must send away the “bird” from the “nest,” that is, separate the soul from the body. However, this cannot be a premeditated, planned event, as we are obligated to protect our lives. It has to be something that comes upon the person, and is an intuitive and passionate moment.
In the famous story of Elisha Baal Kenafayim (Shabbos 49a), he defiantly wore tefillin, risking martyrdom. He was confronted by a government officer for violating the edict, and miraculously the tefillin that he was hiding in his hands turned into a dove’s wings. Could this be hinting at the concept expressed by the Mei Shiloach?
The idea itself is powerful—and do not attempt it at home, so to speak, as I don’t think many people would assume they are of that level to make such a decision. However, in reality, intense situations such as potential martyrdom do not lend themselves to calling upon your local neighborhood posek. Regardless, there are non-lethal forms of self-sacrifice, and it is worth considering whether there is a particular mitzvah that somehow speaks to your soul and how you might honor it differently above others.
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Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation
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Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R, LMFT, DHL is a psychotherapist who works with high conflict couples and families. He can be reached via email at simchafeuerman@gmail.com